Brothers, Sisters, and Unfortunate Husbands
by apriiil
Summary: A collection of tales following a girl who likes the stars, a guy who likes souls, and the dragons who put up with them. Not everything is as easy as it should be when it comes to being in love with Lucy or Bickslow, but Gajeel and Cobra have come to accept that they're married to complete dorks and that they're stuck with each other. Sort of.
1. Catch the Bouquet - Part 1

**_UPDATE: _**_So, turns out, I like writing these four dorks, so it's a universe. Kind of like how the BixLu Happy Wife, Happy Life stories are. What this means is that this will instead be turned into one giant collection of stories set at various points. GaLu, BixCo, BrOTP BixLu (there is so much of it in this later it's insane). Each one will have a chapter/story title at the beginning, and you should be able to figure out when it's set from the actual story itself._

* * *

 _So uh... I tried to write a GaLu... I don't know how to feel about this, because I've never written anything other than BixLu for Fairy Tail, but it's one of my favourite ships and I just really, really wanted to do something else since it was a possible idea for Shattered, surprisingly, and it was too good not to use. So yeah, GaLu with a lot of BixCo because I adore them all and I needed to have all of my babies in one story._

* * *

 ** _CATCH THE BOUQUET - PART 1_**

* * *

It all started when Bickslow and Cobra announced their engagement.

Their engagement in itself wasn't surprising to say the least though. They'd been together for a little more than two years and despite Bickslow being Erik's Dragon mate and Erik being Bickslow's soul mate (according to him, anyway), they still decided to officially tie the knot. The two, for whatever reason, worked well, so no one had actually bat an eye when they'd announced it in the guild that afternoon. Or, technically, Bickslow had walked in and shouted it with Cobra following behind him with a bored expression on his face.

It was really about the problem it seemed to have caused, and of course, Gajeel was the only one who seemed to notice it, and that was only because it was the blonde he adored more than metal who seemed to be influenced by such a joyous announcement. Ever since the Seith mage and the Sound mage had come in and told everyone the news, Lucy had been just a little quiet. There had quite obviously been something going through her head after her friends had shared the news, and Gajeel had known right from the second something had changed.

Gajeel knew it wasn't jealousy for Bickslow and Cobra. Oh no. If it was though, Gajeel would be more than a little worried. Not only was Bickslow essentially her brother by that point, but Erik had become one of her closest friends (technically by extension, really). Not to mention that she was and apparently always would be in love with another Dragon Slayer anyway. Or at least, that had been the case the last time Gajeel had asked her. He still liked to check occasionally, despite her having become his mate surprisingly not too long into their relationship. But of the things Gajeel knew for certain, it was that her sudden shift in demeanour was not because she was jealous. He knew she was incredibly happy for them, but there was obviously eating her up inside. He really just wouldn't have been a very good boyfriend if he couldn't notice just the tiniest of changes.

But of course, Gajeel wasn't going to try and figure out what was wrong when they were in the guild, especially when he had a feeling it really did somehow involve Bickslow, Erik, and their engagement. It just wouldn't have been wise to ask her what was wrong when she was still surrounded by said people. No, Gajeel would wait until they got home that night to find out because then they'd be alone and she hopefully would be able to tell him what was up. It was his job to make sure she was happy, after all.

With great effort, Gajeel kept his mouth shut about it until the exact moment he'd closed and locked their front door behind them. Swiftly, before she could get too far away and start getting ready for bed, he had her back against the door with his arms caging her in. "Bunny," he said softly but firmly as he stared into her chocolate orbs. He could see something wasn't right, and it pained and frustrated him to no end that there was something at all. "Tell me what's up."

Lucy only let out a quiet sigh. "It doesn't matter, okay?" she replied, and she quickly ducked just to escape under his arms and get around him, heading towards the bathroom next to the bedroom.

She wasn't surprised in the slightest that he'd decided to finally ask her what was bothering her, because he always did, and Lucy would _almost_ always tell him whatever it was that was on her mind. He heard all of her rants and complaints about her team that were more a case of Lucy just needed to vent to a wall rather than a person, and he heard all of her insane and illogical ideas for her stories that had her up at four o'clock in the morning when they just needed to be written down somewhere they were that good. She told him whatever was on her mind, whether it be bad or good or something else entirely, because he was her best friend and she _could_ tell him everything.

But… Some things, she kept to herself, just because she couldn't tell Gajeel those certain things for any number of reasons. What was bothering her right then though was another of those thoughts she would keep to herself, because if anything, it just wouldn't be fair to tell Gajeel that. Lucy reasoned he'd probably just find it silly, anyway, so she'd just keep it to herself. Things would be better that way.

As he watched her disappear into the bathroom at the end of the hall over his shoulder, he let out a sigh and dropped his hands and let his forehead hit the door. Usually, just asking her what was wrong or sometimes just reminding her that she could tell him anything did the trick – even after nearly four years together, he still had to remind her sometimes – but that time, Gajeel knew the conventional methods when it came to getting his girlfriend to open up weren't going to work.

Gajeel couldn't help but be a little worried about what it was she was thinking about. The last time she'd pretended that there was nothing bothering her or that it wasn't important only ended with her blurting out she wanted a baby after he'd pestered her about it for three entire weeks after things just got progressively worse for nearly half a year. And that… Well, they'd started working on that after he'd gotten over the initial shock from finding out his girlfriend wanted a kid. Actually, they'd gotten to work on that pretty fucking quickly, because it really wasn't one of the worst things he'd ever heard come from her mouth.

But he was still a little worried about whatever it was that had her not wanting to tell him about it. Despite Gajeel not knowing what it was that was bothering her and how it had anything to do with two of her friends getting engaged (there was still, of course, the possibility that it was all just a coincidence and it was something else entirely, but Gajeel doubted it), he knew for certain that he wasn't going to wait three weeks like he had the last time to find out what was going on with his partner. No way in hell.

After staring at the wood grain of the door for a few minutes, Gajeel pushed himself away when he heard Lucy turn the faucet off in the bathroom, and then the quiet flick of the light switch as she exited the room. He knew she was getting ready for bed, like he should have been considering it was very, very late and everyone had spent all night at the guild celebrating Bickslow and Erik's engagement, but that wasn't going to stop Gajeel from finding out the truth.

He came up behind her just as she pulled her top off and threw it to the hamper by the dresser, leaving her in just a bra and skirt, and his arms came around her to close the drawer she had open, stopping her from getting any more clothes on – or off for that matter. His red eyes stared into the reflection of the mirror in front of them, his body pressed against hers and keeping her pinned to the drawers, and he quietly said, "Tell me."

"It's not important," she mumbled.

"Yes it is. Everything you say is important."

Lucy looked down to the top of the the dark bureau and her fingertip lightly traced over one of the light scratches on the polished surface. Part of her did actually want to tell him, because it was hard not to tell him absolutely everything. Gajeel had been her rock, her person, for a long time, and she'd gotten used to just saying whatever was on her mind. Half the time they really were just random thoughts, but it didn't matter because there was always someone there to hear them.

But this… This, Lucy really didn't want Gajeel knowing, because she didn't want him feeling like he had to blame himself or anything. That was the last thing she wanted or needed. Sighing, she placed her hands over his and looked back up to meet his eternally piercing gaze in the reflection, and she pulled his hands away from where they were on the edge of the dresser and pushed them away from her. "Well this isn't important," she insisted. "I love you, but I really want you to just drop this one, okay? Please."

Gajeel frowned as he tore himself away from the blonde and he turned just to look to the Exceed fluffing up his small pillow in his own miniature bed at the foot of their own bed. They shared the same look of concern, and after Lily just shrugged and settled himself for the night, Gajeel silently went about getting himself ready for bed in silence, all the while his growing concern for his girlfriend continued to eat him up on the inside.

It was always like that for Gajeel when it came to Lucy. He was always worrying about her and concerned about her wellbeing or health or just her in general, even when he knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself. He just couldn't stop himself from caring too much if he tried, and he was well aware that he really might care too much. But it had just always been like that, even more so when she'd become his mate, of course, so he'd mostly stopped trying to convince himself to stop actually caring about how much he cared. Aside from the fact that it was quite possibly one of the stupidest thoughts that had crossed his mind – surely there was no problem with caring far too much about the woman he loved – in the years he'd been with Lucy, it was also just a lost cause.

He was always going to care about her far too much for his own good, and she was always going to tease him just a little bit about how he was literally the biggest fucking softy in the entire guild. Deep down, of course. You know, under the entire menacing exterior that was covered in piercings and all that. He'd only ever let Lucy tease him about that, and anyone else was going to get a punch to the face if they called him a teddy bear. Bickslow had done that a year earlier, and he'd never done it again, considering Gajeel had broken his nose. Of course… That one hadn't really gone done very well with Lucy, since he'd hurt her brother over a joke. The punishment for that little incident was definitely not worth the crime.

But no matter what, he would care about her. He would always worry about her and for the rest of his life, he would do his best to make sure he could make her happy. And when he could see there was something troubling her, whether it be a stray thought or something else, he didn't like it one bit. He needed to get to the bottom of it.

So he waited until she'd climbed into bed to press the matter again because he was obviously not going to drop it. As soon as she'd laid down on her back and reached out for the lamp beside her to switch it off before she got comfortable, he practically pounced on her. Not because they were in fact trying to get pregnant (it had only been a few months though since they'd started, so they weren't worried that it hadn't happened yet), but because he needed to get her to spill whatever it was she was set on keeping from him.

If anything, that just wasn't how their relationship worked. Though they'd been together for a long time, there were still times when Gajeel let some of his darker thoughts get the better of him. They would whisper in his ear and try and convince him that Lucy really didn't trust him as much as she said she did, that she didn't really love him at all. He knew they were stupid though; she did trust him and she did love him. He knew that for certain.

It was just that when she purposely kept things from him for whatever reason, he couldn't help but feel like there was a part of her that was only making her keep whatever it was from him because she maybe didn't trust him enough. It was why they could tell each other anything and everything. There was nothing between them because they trusted each other dearly, and that was just how it had always been for them.

For the most part though, Gajeel could deal with Lucy not wanting to tell him a few things every now and then. It wasn't like he didn't keep some of his own measly secrets from her at times, just because they were stupid or he was scared of his Bunny overreacting and kicking his ass to Bosco. Almost every time he'd known there was something on her mind and she didn't want to tell him what it was about, she'd dealt with it on her own. Things always got better.

But this? This, Gajeel wasn't going to let her get over on her own. He was sure it was going to end up getting worse if she let that thought fester in her mind, and he didn't want her blurting it out when he was sick of him annoying her.

With his body above hers, his weight on his arms and off of her, he looked down to the blonde beneath him with the lust quickly burning in her eyes and a smirk turning her lips as her arms looped around his neck and into his unruly hair. That… Was not the reaction he wanted. Not right then, anyway. "Bunny," he said firmly as he turned her head away so she instead kissed his cheek. "Not right now."

Lucy's smile instantly melted when she sensed the seriousness in his tone. And granted, he always sounded serious, but not so much with her. She knew exactly what he was going to do, and her mouth only twisted into a thin line as she continued to blink up at him. "Why can't you just leave it alone?" she mumbled. Why couldn't Gajeel just drop it, huh? Why couldn't he just let her have that one and instead fuck her into the mattress like she wanted him to and he always wanted to be doing? Lucy would really much rather be doing that than talking about something stupid.

"Because I know it somehow has something to do with Bix and Cobra and I'm worried about you, Bunny."

"Well, don't be. It's nothing."

He arched a pierced brow as her eyes flicked to the side. She wasn't denying that it involved her brother and his now fiancé, and that didn't really surprise Gajeel in the slightest. It had been incredibly unlikely that it had been a coincidence, because Lucy realising she wanted a baby was sparked by almost everyone (or really just a few people in their circle of friends) suddenly getting pregnant in the space of five months. First it had been Juvia and Gray, then Erza and Laxus, Mira and Freed, and then Bisca and Alzack again. Apparently they had been the last nail in the coffin and ultimately led to Gajeel's girlfriend getting baby fever, and that was something he didn't really understand for a little while (he'd been just a little nervous when Levy had said that was what she apparently had, and that it was somehow some horrible contagious disease).

So if anything, for Lucy to suddenly be getting a little quiet and secretive, it made a little bit of sense. Sort of. Not really, because Gajeel had no idea what it was about and how it involved their friends' engagement, but it made a tiny lick of sense.

"Suddenly not a fan of gay marriage or somethin'?" he chuckled.

Lucy scowled at the Dragon Slayer with the wicked grin above her, and she removed her hands from where they were tangled in his hair and instead pushed against his chest as she turned away from him to finally switch off the lamp. "No, you dumbass," she muttered, hearing another low chuckle by her ear when he pulled her side into him as she turned back slightly. "You know it would never be that."

"Then what is it?"

"Gajeel, seriously," she whined. "Just leave it alone. It's stupid."

"Nope. Tell me."

Lucy rolled her eyes as an annoyed sigh escaped her lips. Gajeel was persistent sometimes, and it was enough that she was really getting tempted to just tell him so he would either leave her alone for the night so she could sleep, or just get on with being pounded into the mattress. At that point, she really wasn't fussed, but she would definitely prefer the latter first.

She still thought it was absolutely stupid though. It was absurd, and it wasn't important in the slightest. And still, she didn't want Gajeel to feel like she wasn't happy with the way things were, because she was. She wouldn't change anything for the world, but she just couldn't help feeling the way she was.

"Come on, Lucy. Tell me what's wrong," he murmured, pointed teeth lightly grazing over her ear and down the side of her neck, just light enough to have a shiver running down her spine.

Lucy sighed again, and she shifted in his grasp so she was facing him instead of having her back against his chest. "Promise not to freak out or anything?" she asked softly, her worry almost instantly melting away when he gave her that rare smile that only a few people ever saw.

"I'm not gonna freak out. Did I freak out when you said you wanted a kid? Hell fuckin' n—"

"Yes," she cut him off quickly. "You were nearly catatonic when I finally told you, and then you went on a rampage in the guild about how you were going to catch my _baby fever_ and that I needed to go see Wendy to get it treated before I died."

"Well, it sounded pretty fuckin' dangerous at the time, 'kay?" he muttered. "But back to now. What's going on?"

She pulled her lip between her teeth to nibble on it lightly, and she let out a shaky breath when she heard her inner voice just to tell her to get the hell on with it. Quietly, so quietly that she could barely even hear it herself, she said, "Well… You know I'm really, _really_ happy for Bix and Erik, because I love them both and I'm glad they're happy and going to be getting married."

"But…"

"But I'm just…" She paused as she tried to find the right word, and Gajeel watched as her brow became creased and he could only picture the intricate cogs and gears working in her head non-stop as she tried to find her voice. "A little envious," she mumbled finally.

And she was, if she had to pick a word to describe it. Lucy didn't like feeling that way though, because it made her want to hate herself. She should only be happy for her friends, because it was something to be incredibly overjoyed about. But she wasn't, and she hadn't wanted Gajeel to know that because she truly was happy with the way things were.

Or at least, she thought she was. She couldn't help but wonder if her envy was a sign she wasn't as happy as she though, and that thought truly terrified her.

Gajeel only blinked at her as she made a point of avoiding his eyes. "Whaddya mean?"

"I mean that I guess I'm a little disappointed that _we're_ never going to get married," she answered, watching as the shock and realisation hit Gajeel and he stared at her in silence. "And you know I love you and you know I'm always going to, but when I was younger, I always thought about what my future wedding would be like. Like most little girls do, I suppose."

"So you're disappointed you never got the wedding you dreamed about as a kid," Gajeel said as she nodded slowly. Suddenly, Gajeel was feeling incredibly inadequate. They were, technically and officially, mated, so they really didn't have a reason to get married. The life commitment was essentially the same, anyway with only a few minor differences from what he could gather, but he'd always assumed Lucy was fine with that.

But if she was saying that, then maybe Bickslow and Cobra announcing their engagement had just made her away of how she'd always felt. Gajeel didn't know, but regardless, he wanted to fix it.

Lucy smiled softly when she could see that it had hurt Gajeel, and it was why she hadn't wanted to tell him. She'd seen it coming a mile away, but there wasn't much she could do about it. All she could do was try and remind him that she was happy, and she didn't need to be married to get that. She was fine not being _Mrs. Redfox_ (or Heartfilia-Redfox), and she needed to make sure Gajeel knew that. Her children would bear his name, but she wouldn't. She didn't need to to be his.

Lifting a hand to lightly rest against his cheek, she leant forward to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. "But it doesn't matter, okay?" she said softly and still smiling as she looked directly into the crimson eyes. "I told you it wasn't important, because you're still my dragon and I'm always going to be your Bunny. I wouldn't change this for anything in the world."

But Gajeel thought it was important, and he knew that Lucy must have thought it was important too. At least a little bit, anyway. For the first time in his life though, Gajeel was thinking about marriage. It surely wouldn't be all bad, right? He'd heard a few rumours about what happens after marriage from older guys when he went to bars when he was finishing up a job in another town (mostly the old guys complaining about their wives doing something, or not doing something, as it turns out), but they couldn't all be true, surely. They were practically already married as it was anyway, so technically, a ring wouldn't change anything.

"We could get married," Gajeel said quickly and suddenly, Lucy's eyes going wide when he broke his silence.

Did he want to marry her? Hell yeah, he did. That much had only taken him a millisecond to realise. And surely Lucy wanted to as well, especially if she was disappointed that they hadn't and weren't going to. "I mean, we basically are already, and it's really just a ring and a piece of paper anyway so it wouldn't…" He trailed off when when he noticed the way her mouth suddenly twisted into a firm line and the way her eyes narrowed at him, and he swallowed his terror. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

A ring and a piece of paper. That's all it was to Gajeel, and even if it was mostly true, it hurt Lucy to hear him say the words. She'd never ever expected him to propose, especially not right then, and even if that was his way of proposing, it was quite possibly the worst way to go about it. Yeah, good job, Gajeel. Say they could get married and make it seem meaningless.

"Because, you jackass," Lucy snapped as she reaching behind herself just to lift his hand from where it was on her back and push it away from herself as she put some (but not a lot) distance between them. "I expected you to realise it was just a little more important than that."

"Huh?" Gajeel blinked as she quickly turned and rolled to her other side, her back to him once again. "What are talking about? All I said was that we could get married—"

"No. Now goodnight, Gajeel."

He blinked again, and stared at her in shock. Did she just say _no_? He was so far past confused it hurt his brain. He hadn't expected her to say that, and granted, he also hadn't expected to suggest that they could get married so she could have the wedding she'd apparently wanted since she was a kid, but he hadn't expected her to get mad at him.

He just didn't know what he'd done wrong, and as he rolled to his other side to turn off the lamp on his side, he only stared up at the ceiling with the only sounds filling his ears being her quiet breathing and her steady heartbeat.

Somehow, Gajeel had done more harm than good, and he still knew he needed to find a way to fix it.

* * *

 _So, this part of the story has two parts, and of course, the next chapter will be the second part (Catch the Bouquet - Part 2)._

 _I am so incredibly sorry if this is way to OOC for them, but yeah, this was an experiment if anything, since I have a couple of other one-shots planned that aren't BixLu (yay!) and I need to try and figure out how to write for other characters._

 _I do hope you enjoyed this though, and that you enjoy the other part to this when it's out! Like I said, I'm just trying something new and I have no idea what I'm doing._

 _Until next time._

 _\- April_


	2. Catch the Bouquet - Part 2

_**A/N:** Okay, so yeah... If you didn't already know, this is going to be another universe and it will be similar to my Happy Wife, Happy Life stories. The only difference between the two will obviously be the ships, and for this, it will all be in one story (hence the rename to **Brothers, Sisters, and Unfortunate Husbands** ). _

_I am still, of course, trying to figure out how to write for these four, but I'm also still hoping it's not totally off for them._

 _Like I added to the previous chapter, which was part one to this story, these stories will include GaLu, BixCo, and of course, BrOTP BixLu, because I can't help myself. Updates will come as I find the time to write them, so as usual, there'll be no schedule. Just getting that out there._

 _Anyway though. I hope you enjoy the second and final part to this two-shot within their universe._

* * *

 ** _CATCH THE BOUQUET - PART 2_**

* * *

It was with great difficulty that Gajeel walked into the guild one afternoon with the intent of going to the one and only Seith mage (well… Human Possession, anyway) the guild had for advice. Despite him being one of Gajeel's best friends, and him sort of and kind of being his brother-in-law (even though Lucy had no actual relation to him at all and she wasn't even married to Gajeel anyway), Gajeel hated going to Bickslow for advice. He would literally go to anyone else for advice.

No, seriously. Literally anyone. Gajeel would sooner go to Natsu for advice, that's how much he hated going to Bickslow. After that one time where he'd had no idea what to get Lucy for her birthday barely a month into their relationship and had gone to his trusty good friend and her brother, Gajeel had avoided it again like the plague. It was safe to say that Bickslow's suggestion of erotica for a birthday present was quite possibly the last thing he would ever get his girlfriend for her birthday, no matter how many kinks he realised she had later on in their relationship.

It was on this day, however, that Gajeel had to put up with his hatred and strange fear of Bickslow's advice, because he needed to know how to propose to his girlfriend, and who better to ask than the most recently engaged man in the guild? Exactly. There was probably million better people to ask, but Gajeel was desperate.

It had been a week since Gajeel had sort of proposed, and a week since Lucy had said no and sort of given him the silent treatment for whatever it was he'd done and said. He'd tried apologising about a thousand times, and he'd tried asking her to explain what it was he'd done or said in the first place, but she just refused to tell him. She only went on about how it was something he should know and figure out by himself, but that time, Gajeel would be the first to admit that he just had no fucking idea what it was he'd done.

She'd left for a job that morning and taken Lily with her (the damn cat was on her side again), so it gave Gajeel the perfect opportunity to seek out some help. He was set on actually proposing and her hopefully saying yes that time around, so he had to make sure to do it right.

Seeing the loud blue-and-black haired man sitting with his fiancé at a table, apparently arguing about who was and wasn't invited to their wedding, Gajeel set his destination and quickly and determinedly marched towards them. The sooner he got it over and done with, the sooner he could go and find a job to do until Lucy got back – he tended to get bored and just a little lonely when Lucy wasn't there, but that was only something she and Lily knew.

"Oi. I need some help," Gajeel muttered as he heavily sat himself down opposite the two, their heads turning towards him and their conversation halting.

Cobra snickered into his mug as he lifted it to his lips and slowly took a sip. "This shall be good."

"What can we do for you?" Bickslow asked politely, and if anything, it was almost _too_ politely.

Ignoring the silently snickering Slayer who Gajeel presumed to already know exactly what it was Gajeel was anxious about, and not even beginning to question the sinful smirk on the Seith mage's face, Gajeel quietly said, "I asked... Well, it was more of a suggestion, really, but I asked Lucy to marry me last week, and she said no."

"She said no." Bickslow stared at Gajeel in shock for a moment before he turned to his maroon haired partner beside him and raised an eyebrow. "Did I just hear that right?" he mumbled. "Metalhead proposed and Cosplayer said no?"

Erik nodded. "Yup."

Bickslow turned back to the uncomfortable looking and scowling Slayer opposite him as he leant back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest as he processed the information. Aside from the fact that he never pictured Gajeel proposing to his baby sister (she was his mate after all), he never pictured Lucy saying no. In fact, he could recall a time where she had quite literally said she would marry him if he asked her. That had really only been a year earlier, so Bickslow was stumped and he just could not understand it.

"That's really weird," Bickslow mumbled. "But anyway. I'm assuming you want my—"

"Our," Erik corrected.

Bickslow smirked at the Slayer beside him before turning his attention back to Gajeel. " _Our_ help," he corrected himself. "Because you actually want to propose and have her say yes this time, correct?"

Gajeel nodded.

"Since when did you even want to get married anyway?" Erik asked as he leant forward over the table to rest his chin in his palm.

"Since about last week," Gajeel muttered with a sigh, bringing his hands down his face. "Bunny mentioned how she was disappointed that she'd never be able to get married 'cause of me, and it got me thinking…"

Bickslow grimaced. He'd had a feeling Lucy, despite being happy for himself and Erik, would end up feeling that way. It wasn't like he'd wanted her to feel that way, but it also wasn't like he'd been able to warn her and say, 'oh yeah, Erik and I are going to get married soon but I don't want you feeling sad over it because I'm marrying a Dragon Slayer and you're not.' Aside from the fact that it sounded incredibly rude in his head – something Cobra had laughed at him about all night following their engagement – and he was sure it would make things worse if he'd even been able to say it, his engagement itself had been rather impromptu. He hadn't been able to tell Lucy beforehand if he'd wanted to, because one minute he was laid out on his back, wondering just how he ended up with Erik in the first place, and the next he was saying _hell fucking yes_ , and _still_ wondering just how he ended up with Erik.

For the life of him, Bickslow could not remember how they'd ended up together. It was strange, but nowhere near as strange as how they'd gotten engaged in the first place. They'd both just figured they'd been too drunk to remember anything about it.

"Looks like you were right about her reaction," Erik said quietly.

"Yeah, well, there's nothing I can do about that now," Bickslow sighed. The only thing Bickslow could do was help Gajeel propose and make sure his cosplaying sister said yes that time around. If anything, he was more excited about the prospect of a Lucy and Gajeel wedding rather than his own. Looking back up to Gajeel as he leant forward to mimic Erik's posture, Bickslow asked, "Now have you got any sort of plan?"

"On how to propose?" They both nodded, and Gajeel shook his head. "Nope."

The Seith mage sighed again. "You're hopeless. Got a ring yet?"

"Nope."

"How about we find out why Lucy said no in the first place?" Erik cut in as he sensed both of their frustration growing (and could hear Bickslow only silently complaining about Gajeel being useless, and Gajeel complaining about even having to have this conversation with Bickslow in the first place). "That way," he proceeded cautiously. "You'll be able to avoid making the same mistake again." It was obviously Gajeel's fault she said no. They all knew that much, _including_ Gajeel.

Bickslow shrugged. Erik was, and always would be, the smarter one in the relationship. "That's a good idea. So…" He looked back to Gajeel as a somewhat wicked smirk turned his lips. He was beginning to think that Lucy being mad at Gajeel over the last week probably had something to do with Gajeel's proposal, and he was damn curious as to what it was he'd said. "What exactly did you say to make her say no?"

Gajeel narrowed his eyes at the Seith mage before they flicked elsewhere, and he sat back against the chair and folded his arms. He figured he might as well get it out, so quietly, he mumbled, "Told her we could get married since we practically are already, and that it's just a ring and a piece of paper anyway, and then she just…" He paused when Bickslow burst into a fit of laughter and Erik's palm hit his forehead. "What the fuck?"

"You have no idea, do you?"

"As to why she said no? No fuckin' clue."

Bickslow rolled his eyes as his head tipped back, his raucous laughter only getting louder and drawing just a little bit of attention from the newer guild members around them. Gajeel had had a girlfriend for nearly four years, yet he was still mostly oblivious as to what offended them and what didn't, and he couldn't even figure out what it was he'd said that was so obviously wrong, and most definitely the reason for Lucy saying no and being mad at him all week. Even Bickslow knew more about the workings of the female mind, and he was _gay_. But, then again, he'd thought on a few occasions that his sexuality probably had something to do with that.

Or, it was because he'd basically adopted Lucy as his sister at some point in knowing her and he knew practically everything there was to know about her. He wasn't really sure what was more likely.

"E-Erik… Can you…" Bickslow could barely form his words around his cackling that would just not stop, and he tipped to the side to lean on his fiancé's shoulder as his body shook with his undying laughter. "You've gotta tell him, baby."

The maroon haired Dragon Slayer smirked down at the Seith mage before turning back to the more than confused and irritated man opposite them. Bluntly, Erik said, "She said no because it's not just a ring and a piece of paper."

Regardless of it being true that that was all it would be for them, given their current relationship, it just wasn't the point. The point was that Gajeel had acted like them getting married would truly almost be meaningless, and even if a wedding wouldn't really change anything between them in terms of where they were in their relationship, it would still mean something. And obviously, it would mean a whole lot more to Lucy than it would to Gajeel.

Gajeel was only now just realising the truth in Erik's words though, and by extension, how much he'd fucked up. He knew very well how Lucy felt about marriage, because it had been something they'd only just brushed the surface of at the beginning of their relationship. She'd said that if she ever were to get married, it would be because she wanted to. And it was because of her upbringing. But that had been the only time they'd ever talked about – Lucy had said she'd get married one day if she could, and Gajeel had said it wasn't his thing.

He'd honestly forgotten about that conversation until right then though, and as Gajeel sat there with his shock setting in, he was realising how big the problem truly was. He wanted to marry Lucy now, but there was no way in hell she'd even say yes to him if she thought he was only doing it because it didn't make a difference.

"I feel like an even bigger idiot than Natsu right now," Gajeel mumbled as his head hit the table.

Bickslow sighed as he straightened up, lifting his visor with one hand to wipe away the tears from laughing too hard with his other hand. "Don't worry, dude. We'll think of something, and I promise you, she'll say yes next time." Bickslow paused as his brows drew together before quickly mumbling, "But if she doesn't then, then I'll be seriously surprised."

As much as Gajeel didn't wanted to admit it, it was just a little reassuring hearing that from Bickslow. The guy knew Lucy as well as Gajeel did, if not more so, so Gajeel liked to believe that with his and Erik's help, he'd actually be able to marry her one day. Of course, if she did still say no… Well, then they'd all be stuck figuring out just what it was that had gone so horribly wrong.

Grumbling a silent thank you (it was as loud as Bickslow was going to get), Gajeel sat up slightly. "So how exactly did you two get engaged? Gotta start from somewhere with Lucy," he muttered.

Erik just about spat out his drink as Bickslow chuckled quietly to himself. "It wouldn't work," Erik said quickly.

"Yeah, Cosplayer would definitely say no if you asked her like that," Bickslow added. It didn't help that he'd also been getting on his soon-to-be husband's case for weeks about the idea of them getting married (as a joke, because that's what Bickslow did), so really, even if their engagement and Erik asking him had been unexpected, it wasn't that shocking. It was really just the timing of it that had been a little surprising.

"Really?" Gajeel raised his pierced brow as he looked to the two.

"Really," they said in unison.

So they sat in silence for a few moments, each of them racking their brains for starting points and ideas for as to how Gajeel would propose to the blonde Celestial Spirit mage. If one thing was certain, it was that Gajeel would need to tell Lucy that it really did mean something to him too; it wasn't just a ring and a piece of paper. The good thing was that both Bickslow and Erik could see that he had realised his mistake, so all that was left was formulating a plan.

Bickslow couldn't help but chuckle to himself again. There he was, trying to help one of his closest friends propose to his long-time girlfriend, instead of planning his own wedding. Which, if anything, should have been more important since they'd decided they'd have it fairly quickly, and since they were only have a small and somewhat intimate (much to Mira's disappointment) ceremony, they could put it all together in a short amount of time.

It was only when the thought that he was more interested in seeing his sister get married than getting married himself (well, sort of…) crossed his mind did Bickslow begin to come up with an idea for Gajeel.

"You're not seriously thinking that, are you?" Erik asked quietly. His fiancé hadn't needed to say the words out loud to know that was going through his head, even if at the best of times, he couldn't understand what went through that chaotic mind of his. This though… This particular thought was as clear as day.

A sly grin split Bickslow's face as he turned to Cobra, and he ignored the intent stare Gajeel was now giving them both as he answered, "Sure I am. It's the perfect time for him to do it!"

"What are you two talking about?" Gajeel asked.

Erik's indigo eye widened slightly. "But… It's… Well, right then?" He didn't want to say too much to arouse Gajeel's suspicion and give away what was at that point just an idea, so ignoring Gajeel still and only focusing on the way his fiancé looked like an over-excited kid, he sighed quietly in defeat. "It's not like I have any problems with it, because if anything, it will take the focus away from us slightly… But are you sure? I mean…"

Bickslow nodded quickly. "I'm sure, but only if you promise you're actually fine with it."

"It's fine by me."

Bickslow leant over to quickly kiss Erik's cheek. "You're the best," he mumbled. Finally turning back to Gajeel who was, at that point, looking just a little more annoyed that he had been ignored and had no idea what the two had been talking about, Bickslow grinned at the Dragon Slayer. Answering the then silent question with his own, Bickslow asked, "How do you feel about a somewhat public proposal?"

* * *

It was a month later when Gajeel was putting his plan into action, and like Bickslow and Cobra had come up with, it was to be at their wedding. Gajeel still had no idea why Bickslow had even suggested that it be then, because it was his damn wedding day. It was supposed to be about him and his partner, not himself and Lucy.

But… As Bickslow had pointed out to him for the twenty-seventh time in the space of nearly four weeks, right before he'd officially become Erik's husband, if he could be sharing his day with anyone other than Erik, it would be with Lucy and Gajeel, because he loved them both. Lucy more than Gajeel, of course.

Besides, it was supposed to be a happy day. Even Erik had chimed in and tried to remind Gajeel that they could share the joy. There would definitely be enough of it to go around after Lucy said yes, and at that point, they were all really hoping she would be.

Gajeel had managed to apologise to Lucy once she'd returned home from her mission just a few days after she'd left, but it had been the only time they'd talked about the topic of marriage in those weeks. Lucy had absolutely no idea he was planning on properly proposing, and that was exactly the way Gajeel wanted it. At that point, the majority of Bickslow and Erik's wedding guests knew what was happening – Lucy's team were in on it, and so were the Raijinshuu and the former Oración Seis and Crime Sorcière members. It seemed only fair to tell them that not only would there be a wedding that day, but there would also be an engagement.

As the evening progressed, Gajeel became more and more anxious. He couldn't help but worry about the chances of Lucy actually saying no, because damn, would that be embarrassing. Her team, Bickslow's team, Erik's friends, plus a few others from the guild… All those people would witness it, and if anything, it would ruin the day. Not only for himself, Lucy, and everyone who saw it, but for Bickslow and Erik too. That was the last thing Gajeel wanted.

But Bickslow and Erik had told him a million times that Lucy would say yes. Bickslow was actually convinced she'd say yes, because it was on their fortnightly sibling outing day (Gajeel had stopped caring about how the two would quite literally disappear for an entire day from the crack of dawn until some ungodly hour in the middle of the night, and of course, Gajeel had had to be the one to explain to the guy's poor boyfriend the first time it had happened in their relationship that it was nothing to worry about) where he'd apparently managed to slip a Redfox-Heartfilia wedding into the conversation. Lucy had told Bickslow about the entire argument after she'd gotten back and Gajeel had apologised, so it wasn't really that odd. Apparently though, she would still marry him if he actually asked her and wanted to, but she still, for whatever reason, assumed he didn't want to.

Lucy would say yes, and that's what kept playing in Gajeel's head, over and over. He'd only been told to shut up by Erik about fifteen times already, and at that, Lucy had only asked what it was that had been going through his head all afternoon and was annoying enough to get Erik to literally tell him to _shut the fuck up_ in the middle of the actual ceremony.

Sighing as the ring felt impossibly heavy in his pocket, Gajeel watched silently as his soon-to-be (hopefully) fiancée played with Erza and Laxus' newborn son by the lounge. The wedding itself and the reception was actually in Bickslow and Erik's house, just because it was small enough to do so. Granted, their living room had been just a little crowded for a time as everyone watched the two say their vows, but now the day was drawing to a close as it got later into the evening and the sun began to set beyond the horizon.

"You gonna do it or what?"

Gajeel turned to see the Seith mage, all dapper in his suit, standing next to him and looking towards where most were gathered just on the other side of the living room. "Yeah, in a minute," he sighed.

Gajeel could see the way Bickslow was watching Lucy play with Laxus' daughter in particular, and Erik could see it too as he came up to stand beside his husband. They both felt a little sorry for the man, because as harmless as he was, he wasn't allowed anywhere near the Dreyar child. Or the Justine child when it was born, for that matter. Erza had, for whatever reason, made it quite clear Bickslow wasn't allowed anywhere near her daughter until she was three months old, and then Freed and Mira had agreed the same would go for their child. Gajeel didn't quite understand it, Erik didn't quite understand it, Lucy didn't quite understand it, and Bickslow certainly didn't understand it.

The guy loved kids, but aside from the fact he wouldn't have his own unless it was via surrogacy or adoption, he just didn't want his own. And Erik didn't really want kids anyway, and Bickslow knew that. Gajeel and Lucy knew that too. But it was why Lucy had made it quite clear that when _they_ eventually had kids, Bickslow would be allowed near them, right from the time they'd be born. It was quite possibly the reason Bickslow was so excited about them deciding to have a baby… Eventually. If anything, Bickslow was more excited about it than Gajeel was, but that was okay.

Sort of.

But still, Gajeel felt bad for him. It was his damn wedding day, and he was quite literally being forced to stay on the opposite side of the room to whoever was holding the youngest Dreyar.

With a sigh, Bickslow drew his attention away from the group and lifted a hand to pat the raven haired Dragon Slayer on his shoulder. "Come on. You're doing it now," Bickslow ordered. Before Gajeel could complain, he continued, "Stop your worrying. She'll say yes." He knew very well that Gajeel had been putting it off because he'd been worried about her saying no, but he knew that no matter how many times he was told that everything would work, he would still worry about it.

It didn't help that Bickslow was getting impatient.

So after getting a grumbled response from Gajeel that sounded like a _fine_ , Bickslow quickly kissed his husband again, and then made his way back into the living room where the guests were scattered around. It was time to put their plan into action, and Bickslow was almost as giddy as Mira was when he looked to her and saw the realisation in her clear blue eyes.

"So there's one more thing to make this wedding a wedding," Bickslow announced as he got everyone's attention, a wide grin on his face as he stepped over to the coffee table where the bouquet that Evergreen had been holding was sitting. "And that, my dear friends, is a bouquet toss."

It wasn't until Bickslow had thought about how Gajeel could pull off proposing at their wedding did Bickslow think of a bouquet. He hadn't planned on having any sort of flower arrangements until that very moment, but if he just happened to make Lucy catch a bouquet, then it would provide Gajeel with the perfect opportunity to pop the question. Of course, Gajeel had needed some convincing to agree to the plan, but they'd managed to do it. Eventually.

Picking up the lily and red rose bouquet, Bickslow slowly stepped back until his back was nearly touching the fireplace he'd stood in front of with his now husband just a few hours earlier. "So, ladies, and guys too, because I'd probably be a little bit of a hypocrite if I didn't invite you lot too, please all join in," he said, doing his best to sound formal and only getting a roll of an eye from his husband by one of the lounges.

Lucy laughed at the Seith mage as everyone humoured the man, rising to their feet and gathering around the opposite side of the table and forming a group. Erza and Laxus stayed out, much like Mira and Freed. Everyone else, including Midnight and Yukino, Wendy, Levy, Sorano, Jellal, and even Natsu and Gray stood around her, each of them with somewhat suspicious looking smirks that she chose not to pay too much attention to.

"Bix, what are you doing?" Lucy giggled as she tried to fight back against Levy, and surprisingly, Erik (whom she hadn't noticed had moved until that very moment) pushing her towards the front of the group. "Literally everyone here is in a relationship already."

"So what? It's still fun."

"But it's _silly_."

He pouted as he looked over his shoulder. "You've known me how many years, and you haven't realised I _am_ silly?" Sighing, Bickslow shook his head. "Whatever, Cosplayer," he said as he looked over his shoulder one final time and to the blonde with her arms folded, so obviously ready to not catch anything. He smirked before he asked, "You gonna catch this thing or what?"

"I'm not." She wasn't even going to try and catch it. Not unless she realised it was coming straight for her. But then she'd probably just duck and let someone else catch it… Like Wendy.

Bickslow sighed again, and facing the fireplace, he lifted his arms over his head with the bouquet in his hands, and prepared to toss it backwards.

Only for the flower arrangement to hover right above his head for just a moment as it left his hands. With one of the babies' souls in the bouquet, Bickslow lowered his arms and turned back around. Lucy watched in confusion as both bouquet and Seith mage slowly headed towards her, and her eyes went wide as she looked to the happily spinning and twirling bunch of flowers around her head. "Bix… What's going on..." she said cautiously as she looked back to smiling Seith mage as the bouquet settled in front of her, and failing to notice the way everyone behind her had slowly stepped back, leaving just one person in particular standing patiently behind her.

"Take it," was all Bickslow said.

"What? Why?"

"Because you're the one who deserves it," he said gently. Reaching down to pull her arms apart, he took the flowers and pressed the bundled stems of the bouquet into her hands until she was holding it firmly and looking between the flowers and himself in complete shock and confusion. Smiling still, he softly said, "Now turn around."

Lucy was so far past confused that it wasn't even funny, so she didn't have any idea what to expect behind her. Hesitantly, she did turn, and seeing only Gajeel in the space behind her instead of the majority of Bickslow and Erik's wedding guests, she instantly felt tears spring in her eyes, all because he was slowly lowering himself to one knee. "Gajeel… What are you…" She trailed off as she quickly looked around at everyone in the room, each of them silently watching and smiling at the two.

Lucy knew exactly what he was doing though, and it had her heart leaping into her throat and her hand flying to her mouth to smother her sobs that wanted to escape. It was her brother's wedding, yet her boyfriend was proposing, and just seeing the matching grins on Bickslow's and Erik's faces, Lucy knew for certain that the two had definitely had something to do with what was happening.

Gajeel took a deep breath as he looked up to the love of his life with the tears only just silently streaming down her face, and he reached down into his pocket to pull out the ring. It was simple enough – silver band with the single diamond in the centre, and two smaller onyx stones on either side of it. The shopkeeper had of course wondered just why he was so set on buying that particular ring once he'd seen it, but Gajeel was sure Lucy would like it.

It felt like an eternity as he just knelt in front of her, and the ring still felt heavy between his fingers as he slowly lifted it up. Gajeel was so nervous again that he could hear his own heartbeat; not anyone else's, just his. She would say yes though. She had to. Everyone there believed she would too, and that was what had Gajeel finally finding it within himself to speak. "Lucy, I—"

"Yes! Oh god, yes!"

Gajeel only blinked at her as her answer fled her mouth quickly, and a nervous chuckle escaped his own when he realised that she had in fact just said yes to marrying him. She knew. He hadn't even needed to say the words. "You didn't even let me get the damn question out, Bunny," he muttered as he slowly rose to stand again.

A blush crept onto Lucy's cheeks as she watched Gajeel gently slip the ring onto her finger. "I know. I'm sorry," she said with a watery laugh, lifting a hand just to try and wipe the tears away from under her eyes.

As soon as he'd pulled out the ring, Lucy just hadn't been able to keep her mouth shut. She didn't need to hear the words from his mouth to give him her answer, because even if he'd hurt her by saying that it was just a ring and a piece of paper, Lucy knew that he had realised just what he'd said. He'd apologised and he'd seen that it really wasn't that at all.

Lucy knew that Gajeel asking her to marry him was because it was what he wanted. Regardless of where they were in their relationship and the fact that they really basically were already, he wanted to. And that was exactly why Lucy could say yes that time, because it was what she wanted too.

Bickslow and Erik watched the other happy couple with smiles on their faces. As much as Bickslow had wanted to just shout out to Gajeel that he'd told him so, he hadn't wanted to ruin the moment. He was happy for them, just like Erik was, and just like everyone else in the room was. The two seemed almost oblivious to everyone around them though, with Lucy turning into a giggling and squealing mess as Gajeel tried and failed to calm her down (as usual. Literally no one could calm her down once she got to that point), and Bickslow thought it was absolutely fucking adorable.

Turing to his husband with a sigh, Bickslow whispered, "Do you think they'll agree to it?"

There was, of course, another part of the plan that Gajeel hadn't actually been told about, and that was because Bickslow and Erik had wanted to keep it a secret from everyone. It was actually Erik who had come up with the idea too, and it honestly amazed Bickslow. He hadn't need to be persuaded to go along with it though. Oh no. He'd loved it from the moment he'd heard it, because it was absolutely brilliant.

But there was still the issue of whether or not their friends would agree to it, and as much as they both hoped they would, it was incredibly likely they wouldn't.

"You know, I actually think they might," Erik said slowly as he smiled up at the blue-and-black haired man beside him. "Definitely not straight away, but… I think they'd come around to it."

Bickslow grinned before he quickly pressed his lips to his husband's. "This is why I love you," he murmured. "You're the mastermind in the relationship." Erik brought the brains (well, most of the them), and Bickslow brought the entertainment. It worked. Neither one could ever out-sass the other though.

Pulling free from the shorter man, Bickslow cleared his throat as he clapped his hands together. With everyone including Gajeel and Lucy looking to him, a sly grin that matched Erik's formed on his lips. "Now," he said, looking towards the blonde he adored and the raven haired man he didn't adore so much. "You know what would make this day even more special?"

Lucy narrowed her eyes at the Seith mage after quickly glancing past him to his husband. "Bickslow…" Part of her wasn't sure she wanted to know what it was Bickslow and Erik were planning, and she could tell Gajeel felt was feeling the same way right then. She'd already realised that the two had had something to do with Gajeel's proposal, but this? This, Lucy knew was not part of that plan.

"Another wedding!"

Both Lucy's and Gajeel's eyes went wide, along with everyone else's in the room. She was sure she'd heard someone drop a plate or a glass or something behind her, and she could just make out what sounded like Mira choking and Freed telling her to calm down. "Did you just… Did you just say… A _wedding_?!"

"Yup."

Gajeel wasn't even sure what to say, and as he looked down to Lucy, he saw that it was the same for her. Even if he didn't know what to say, he knew he didn't want to say no. It wasn't exactly the worst idea in the world, even if it had been one he had not been expecting to come from Bickslow's mouth in the slightest.

Gajeel was certain he had to talk to Lucy about it though. He had to find out where she stood on it, and so quickly and silently, lacing their fingers together, he pulled her through the living room and over to the hall, then into the room farthest away from everyone else – Bickslow and Erik's bedroom. He closed the door behind them, and looked to his now somewhat frantic fiancée.

He cleared his throat before Lucy could begin the rambling that he knew was coming, and he quickly said, "We could, you know."

She looked to him in stunned silence. "What?" she whispered.

"We uh… We could get married. Today. Right now," Gajeel said just as quickly again. If Lucy wanted to, they really could. What was the point of waiting anyway? They were practically there, and for whatever reason, Bickslow and Erik obviously had to be fine with the idea of them also getting married that day, otherwise they wouldn't have suggested it. "I mean, I know it wouldn't be your dream wedding or anythin', but your entire team is here, and all of our friends are here too."

"But… But it's Bix's and Erik's day… And… And we couldn't do that to them," she stammered as she looked down to the ground, her neat brows drawing together and the blood rushing in her ears with each heartbeat. "And we don't have any rings anyway and—"

"We don't have to, Bunny. We can plan the wedding you want and invite half the fuckin' town if you really want to."

Lucy pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and her brow became furrowed in concentration. It was her thinking face, as Gajeel had so eloquently called it a long time ago. It wasn't that she wanted a big wedding, because she didn't. Even if she'd quite literally been engaged for all of five minutes, it wasn't the first time Lucy had thought about what her wedding would be like to Gajeel. It was just one of those things she'd found herself daydreaming about with the girls on the odd occasion. They'd all done it, to be perfectly honest.

Lucy had decided long ago that all she needed at her wedding were her friends and her family, and the people she held most dear were all in the next room. It wasn't the _dream_ wedding she'd pictured as a kid, but what was available to her right then was the _perfect_ wedding. Whether or not they had rings was irrelevant, because Lucy knew that it was just an excuse. Rings weren't important, and they could always get those later.

It really all just came down to her not wanting to take the focus away from her brother and his now husband. Bickslow was one of her best friends, if not _the_ best, aside from Gajeel, and she loved Erik too. This was supposed to be their day and it was supposed to be about them. Lucy knew that the entire reason they'd had such a small wedding was because they didn't want anything big and fancy or elaborate, and neither had really wanted anyone to make a big deal about it.

But if it was their idea, then was there really anything stopping them from getting married right then? Bickslow and Erik probably wanted them to, Gajeel wanted to, and Lucy found herself wanting to as well. She couldn't keep the smile off her face when she looked back up, because holy shit, they were getting married. Right then. At least, part of her hoped so. "Yeah…" she said softly, twisting the bouquet that she still held in one hand. "Let's do it. Let's get married."

"Yeah?"

Lucy nodded. "Yeah." Quickly, she was pulled into his arms and lifted off the ground slightly, and as her arms looped around his neck, she couldn't keep the laughter from bubbling out of her.

"Fuck, I love you," he sighed, and he brought his lips down to hers. He was getting married. To her. Pretty damn soon, too. As much as he wanted to hate Bickslow and Erik for surprising them with it, he couldn't, because right then, he was seriously tempted to tell them how much he loved them.

Of course, he would never, ever do that – the only person in the world he would say he loves would only ever be Lucy – but he did like them, because they were two of his closest friends, and Bickslow was kind of and sort of part of his family. Because of Lucy.

But if it wasn't for Bickslow and Erik, then Gajeel wouldn't be marrying the love of his life, best friend, mate and future mother of his children (god, he still wished that that would be soon too, even if it hadn't been that long) that day. He would have had to wait god knows how long, and right then, Gajeel couldn't think of a better time to be doing it.

As Lucy pulled away, Gajeel's arms still tightly around her, she looked over his shoulder just as the door opened and she smiled at the two mages peeking their heads through. "Hate to ruin the moment and all…" Erik began.

"But I'm getting a little bored and I wanna see my baby sister get married already," Bickslow finished for him with his famous tongue-lolling grin.

* * *

Bickslow gently knocked on the bedroom door and waited just a moment before pushing it open and peeking around it. Seeing the blonde frantically pacing the room and nervously chewing on her thumbnail almost had Bickslow's jaw dropping, and from that alone, he was sure Gajeel would be absolutely speechless once he actually saw her.

After himself and Erik had come to collect them (only after eavesdropping. Erik leant against the hallway wall the entire time and Bickslow stood with his ear pressed against the door), Gajeel had been pulled from the room to go and get ready, leaving Lucy the bedroom to do the same. Of course, getting ready meant two very different things between the two. For Gajeel, it was getting a pep talk from not only Erik, but also Loke who had appeared suddenly, the entirety of Lucy's team, and of course, Bickslow himself. His version was more along the lines of reminding Gajeel that he'd have more of a reason to hurt him now if he ever hurt Lucy.

As her brother, it was his job to threaten her future husband and boyfriend of nearly four years. He took that job very seriously, of course.

As for Lucy, though… Well, that meant having Virgo and Cancer basically have their way with her, and as Bickslow stood outside the room after inflicting pain with a mental image of what he'd do to Gajeel should he ever hurt his wife, he'd been just a little worried about the noises that came from just inside his bedroom. He'd heard something about being stabbed with a pin and a shriek, and he'd instantly known that it was Virgo inflicting the pain. Not intentionally, though.

Her hair, and what Bickslow could tell, and makeup had remained mostly the same. Touched up, he guessed, considering she'd cried a lot following the actual proposal, but it wasn't like he could tell or anything. Her attire was what he noticed the most though, because gone was the light blue dress she'd attending _his_ wedding in, and instead a white one was in its place. That was really what had Bickslow being on the verge of speechless.

It was simple enough, but that didn't take away the beauty of it. Layers upon layers of fabric crossing over her breasts and cinching just above her waist with a thin silver piece of satin tied in a bow behind her, lace cap sleeves, and a flowing skirt that stopped just above her knees. On Lucy, it was elegant. On anyone else, it just probably wouldn't have looked the same. Or at least, that was what Bickslow thought.

Slowly coming into the room and closing the door gently behind himself, he softly said, "Nervous?" He could understand if she would be nervous, because after all, he'd literally just thrown a wedding at her out of the blue. Not to mention that he'd been nervous right up until the very moment he was standing with Erik and saying his vows. Bickslow just wouldn't blame Lucy for being nervous. Not at all.

"I'm not sure why though," Lucy answered quickly as she continued to walk up and down her path by the bed. "I mean, I know I shouldn't be, but I am."

His hands closed around her arms just below her shoulders, and she finally looked up and to something other than the floorboards. "You want to marry him, right?" Bickslow asked softly as the corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile. She nodded. "Then you have nothing to worry about. You want to do this, and so does Gajeel. He wouldn't have asked you to in the first place if he didn't want to, and you know that."

Lucy sighed. Bickslow was right, because he was always right in times like that. If anything, he was right when he _needed_ to be. She had no reason to be nervous, because she was doing something she was sure was a good idea. But still… It wasn't supposed to be about them that day. It never was. "I suppose," she whispered, looking back down slightly. "But are you sure this is really okay? This is your day and I really, _really_ don't want to be taking that away from you and Erik."

"Cosplayer, I could tell you a million times that we're both fine with it and I know you still wouldn't believe me."

She let out half a laugh as she looked back up to Bickslow. "You know me too well, Bix."

"I do indeed," he chuckled. She was his best friend after all. It was his job to know that about her. "But I'm only going to tell you once that if I could be spending this day with anyone other than Erik, it would be with you and Metalhead, because I love you both. I'm fine with it, and Erik is fine with it."

It was why he'd agreed to it so quickly. Of all the people to be sharing his wedding day with, it would be Lucy and Gajeel. They were his family as much as Erik now was, and Bickslow liked to think that Erik had suggested it for that very reason. It was their special day and it would always be their special day, but they had the opportunity to share that day with some very important people in both of their lives.

With a smirk as he saw Lucy's doe eyes fill with tears once again, Bickslow added, "Plus, I'm more likely to remember your anniversary than I am my own, so that's probably part of why Cobra thought of it. It's a win-win for all of us, really."

"Damn it, Bix," Lucy let out another watery laugh as she lifted her hands to try and fan her face. She'd already had Cancer fix her makeup about four times because she'd cried far too many times in the space of getting engaged and talking to Bickslow right then. "You're gonna make me ruin my makeup again. I can't cry on my wedding day."

Bickslow turned and picked up the small box of tissues sitting on one of the nightstands, then held it out to Lucy. "You're still beautiful even if you're crying," he said softly.

Lucy only sighed as she carefully dried her eyes, being careful not to smudge her eye makeup (again). It was only when she'd taken a few deep breaths and looked up to see Bickslow holding his arm out to her, the bouquet from before in his other hand, did Lucy realise that she wasn't anywhere near as nervous as she had been just a few minutes earlier.

She was getting married in just a few minutes, and she wasn't nervous. Not in the slightest. She was… Excited, for lack of a better word. She was marrying the love of her life and she'd also get to share that day with two of her closest friends for the rest of her life. She had no reason to be nervous and she had nothing to worry about, just like Bickslow had said.

"You ready?"

With a nod and one final glance in a mirror, Lucy turned back to the Seith mage and wrapped her hand around his elbow, and took the bouquet in her other hand when he held it out to her. "I think so." She was as ready as she was ever going to be, at least. And smiling when Bickslow quickly leant down to lightly kiss her cheek, she let him lead her back out into the living room where everyone was waiting.

Coming out and seeing everyone smiling at her – and the way Gajeel was looking at her with complete adoration, like he always did – had Lucy even more certain that it was the right thing. Bickslow was fine with it, Erik was fine with it, Gajeel was fine with it, and Lucy was more than fine with it. Everyone was fine with seeing another couple get married that evening, and Lucy was definitely willing to let them see that.

Unable to keep the smile from her own face as she took her place in front of the fireplace and in front of Gajeel, their fingers lacing together between them, Lucy ignored her pounding heart in her chest. She only focused on Gajeel, and he only focused on her.

Neither looked down when Makarov cleared his throat, ready to begin again. "Now… I have to ask," he began slowly. "Since this isn't the first ceremony to be taking place this evening, do you wish for me to recite it all again, or would you two like to just skip ahead to the—"

"Oh, please just skip ahead," Lucy laughed a little nervously along with everyone else in the room. She just wanted to be married already, and she really didn't know where her sudden impatience had come from. If she had to listen to the entire introduction again, she was sure she was going to fall asleep. As beautiful as it had been, she didn't want to hear it again, and _she_ was the one getting married that time.

"Well, in that case…" Makarov looked to Gajeel first, and said, "Do you, Gajeel, promise to take Lucy as your wife, your faithful partner, and best friend until the end of time? To be with her, love her, and support her through every hardship that comes as a mage. To fill her life with joy and happiness and remain faithfully tied to her?"

"Hell fuckin' yes, I do," Gajeel said as he grinned at his soon-to-be wife.

Makarov turned to Lucy then, only lightly shaking his head at Gajeel's answer that was remarkably similar to Bickslow's. "And do you, Lucy—"

"Yes, yes, I do," she said quickly. Her face turned a shade of crimson as everyone around her almost burst out into fits of laughter, and she smiled apologetically down at the guild master who only sighed in defeat. "Oh, I'm sorry," she giggled. "I keep interrupting people today!" She just couldn't help it though. She was just so excited and her impatience was getting the better of her.

"It's fine, child," Makarov said.

And as the considerably shorter ceremony went on, both Gajeel and Lucy coming up with vows on the spot that made Mira bawl her eyes out for the second time in the space of a few hours, Bickslow and Erik watched with smiles on their faces. If it hadn't been for his mastermind husband, he wouldn't have been able to see Lucy get married, and Bickslow truly loved that almost as much as being married himself. She was happy, Gajeel was happy, and every single person in their living room right then was happy, and for them.

For the rest of their lives, they'd all get to remember that day and they'd all get to remember how special it was, and celebrate it with the ones they love.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Bickslow only sighed happily as he leant back into the lounge next to his husband, and smiling as he turned to him, he softly said, "This is the best day ever. I love you, Erik."

"Love you too, Bix." And gently, he captured his husband's lips with his and their fingers twined together over their knees.

And although it might have been the best day ever right then, all four knew that it was just the best day to come so far. Because each one knew that there would be plenty of days in their futures and lives together that would, if not outshine that day, come close to being the best. For now though, they could all just accept that it was in fact the best day ever, and each of them could only look at their partner with a smile and think about how excited they were to start the next part of their lives.

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ _Like I said, I'm still working all of this out, and I still hope it wasn't too terrible._

 _So... Yeah, I wasn't quite sure how to write out their wedding and their vows in the entirety, so I didn't. I think it works fine without it, and their vows are more or less what is covered in the first half of this chapter anyway._

 _Obviously, this was the final part for Catch the Bouquet, and whatever story comes next in this universe and collection, it will have a different title. Also like with my HWHL stories, they could be taking place at any point in any of their relationships, so if you wish to follow their adventures, please keep that in mind._

 _Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this part! It's getting late, and as usual, there's bound to be a million things I've missed, and I apologise. I'll get them eventually... As usual._

 _Until next time._

 _\- April_


	3. Fairy Godmother

**A/Ns:** _I figured it was time to get this chapter done, and writing about all of the nerdiness and stupidity in the Neighbours From Hell AU just made me really want to write some BrOTP BixLu. Thank you all so much for reviewing the other parts for this little universe, I love you guys!_

 _But anyway. I suppose I should get on to the actual story._

* * *

 _ **FAIRY GODMOTHER**_

* * *

Lucy had been married for all of four months (or really, it had only been one-hundred-and-twelve days, but who was really counting?) when she found out she was pregnant. Or, she guessed it, actually, and then confirmed it.

And then screamed and jumped around like a goddamn lunatic because she was _so_ happy, but Gajeel hadn't been able to witness it. Not the first time she'd done it, anyway.

It had been on one of her fortnightly sibling days with Bickslow that Lucy had found out. Gajeel was out on a mission with Lily, so that meant her and Bickslow could have one of their grand sleepovers that only ended with them eating as much candy as they could possibly eat and falling asleep in a heap on the living room floor at some point around the time the sun came up. Gajeel and Erik were both used to it by that point in their relationships, so neither cared much about their sleepovers, and Erik just really liked having a night where he got his bed to himself. Apparently Bickslow was a blanket hog, but Lucy had never really noticed it herself.

So she'd been on the lounge with her best friend and sort of brother while wearing their matching onesies that they reserved for their sleepovers, the coffee table in front of them topped with bowls of various foods that had far too much sugar in them for them to be eating in the middle of the night, and having a _Final Destination_ marathon, just because they could. They'd been up to the third fourth one when Lucy's mind decided to wander off on its own accord, and Bickslow cackling next to her went ignored as she stared at the space where the lacrima-vision screen was in front of them, but she wasn't watching it.

They'd been trying to get pregnant for a little while now, but in all the months they had been trying, Lucy had never once expected that she really might be and that it had happened. But as she watched someone get crushed by a bathtub, she was really thinking that she was finally pregnant.

All she'd done after that thought had crossed her mind and her heart had started beating even faster than it already was thanks to all the sugar she'd consumed, she got up from the lounge and threw her half of the blanket over Bickslow's head, grabbed her purse and boots, and told Bickslow she'd be back in a little while. And then, not even an hour later, she was standing in her bathroom and staring at two little pink lines on the test stick.

At that point, she only dropped it in the sink, then picked it back up to look at it again, to the instructions in the box, and then back to the stick. And then she dropped it again, and ran back out into her living room and practically threw herself on the Seith mage. It wasn't that out of the ordinary for them since they were the very best of friends and she was very cuddly. But honestly, Lucy didn't even care that she'd managed to knock Bickslow off the edge of the lounge and onto the floor (he could handle it anyway), because she was just so excited. Somewhere deep down, Lucy knew she should probably wait until Gajeel got back from his mission to tell him first, but she couldn't. She needed to tell her best friend.

Laughing at the seemingly far too happy blonde that was on top of him, Bickslow scrambled for the remote was now on the floor next to him, and hit pause on the movie as he sat. "Mavis, Lucy," he chuckled as he pushed her off of him so he could get up. "Could you at least give me some notice if—"

"I'm pregnant!"

He stopped, and stared, then blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. "Huh?"

"You heard me," Lucy giggled as she finally climbed back to her feet.

Bickslow got to his feet so quickly it almost made him dizzy, and he couldn't keep the grin off his face as he put his hands on the blonde's shoulders. "Really?" When she nodded quickly, Bickslow pulled her into an almost bone-crushing hug and only proceeded to lift her from the ground and spin her around and laugh with her. "Holy fucking shit, Cosplayer. That's amazing! I'm _so so so so so so so_ happy for you and Metalhead. Holy fuck."

And seriously, Bickslow was over the fucking moon that his best friend and sort of sister was having a baby, because it meant he could steal it. Well, not really, but he'd be allowed near it, which was good! He still really loved kids, and babies were just so much fun to be around, and it had honestly sucked not being able to go near Laxus' kid or Freed's kid (who had only just hit the three month mark, finally), even though Laxus and Erza's daughter was already terrifying and had accidentally (or so Bickslow hoped) zapped him the first time he'd been allowed to pick her up. That little event had only made Laxus just about fall over laughing along with Bickslow's husband, and after that, Bickslow had taken precaution when going near Freed and Mira's daughter, Savannah, because he'd been just a little terrified of her being just like her mother. But no, she was just all cute and adorable and Bickslow hadn't wanted to let go of her, but he'd had to, because she was Freed's kid.

But with Lucy's kid… He wouldn't have to let go of them that often, and he'd be able to go near them before they were three months old! But that wasn't what was most important. What was important, was that his best friend was having a baby and he was truly so excited for her. And Gajeel, too (even though he really hoped their kid didn't get his looks).

"Why the fuck are you two jumping around and screaming like idiots?"

Bickslow and Lucy only looked to where a very tired Erik was standing by the entrance to Lucy's living room in his own pyjamas (he didn't get a special onesie, unfortunately), his arms folded and his single eye narrowed at the two of them. They didn't actually stop their jumping around in circles and screaming for him though. They were too excited to stop doing that.

"Come join us!" Lucy said excitedly as she pulled one hand free from Bickslow's and held it out to the Dragon Slayer.

"What? No. I'm not jumping around in the middle of the night," he replied. Erik knew very well his sort of sister-in-law was just as insane as his husband, but there were still some moments where the two only seemed to make Erik wonder just what in the actual fuck he'd married into. He'd only been trying to sleep and enjoy having the bed to himself, but no, his goddamn husband and sister had been squealing and making it impossible to sleep. If it was one thing Erik hated about letting Bickslow convince him to move into the house right next door to Lucy and Gajeel's new one that they'd moved into just after they'd gotten married, it was that he heard way too much. The upside, though, was that Gajeel heard almost as much as he did, so he knew he wasn't the only one suffering (plus, he kinda liked making the guy uncomfortable like Bickslow did. It was too fun to see him in the guild in the mornings). "Why the fuck are you two doing that anyway?"

"Because Cosplayer's having a baby!"

"Bix! I haven't even told Gajeel yet!" Lucy giggled, only stopping their spinning and jumping to shove his chest. Not that she really cared if Bickslow told Erik. They were her family.

"I'm sorry! You know I can't keep secrets from him to save my life so he would have found out from me tomorrow!" Bickslow chuckled with his tongue lolling from his mouth.

A baby, though? Erik had to admit that that was probably something that was worth jumping and squealing over when it came to those two. Plus, he was happy for Lucy and Gajeel. Even if he didn't want kids of his own, he could be happy for his closest friends, and he could most definitely be happy for Bickslow since he knew how much it had excited him to know that Lucy and Gajeel had been trying to have a baby in the first place.

Sighing, he grudgingly moved forward and dropped his keys with a spare to Lucy's house on it to the coffee table, and let the two pull him into their weird little bouncing circle. "I suppose I'll join just this one time," he muttered, and with a roll of his indigo eye, he jumped around in a circle with his husband and his sister-in-law in the middle of the night.

* * *

"I call dibs on being the godmother, by the way."

Gajeel looked to Bickslow in as much shock as Cobra beside him did, and he almost spat out his drink, unlike Cobra who actually had. Lucy had been pregnant for all of three-and-half months, she was only now just starting to show a little bit, they hadn't even started buying any baby furniture or anything like that, or even talked about whether or not their kid was going to have godparents.

But apparently, Bickslow had decided that they were, because he was going to be the _godmother_. "Uh, Bix, how about no?" Gajeel muttered before taking a careful sip of his drink.

"What? Why?" Bickslow replied.

"Because we haven't talked about anything like that yet."

Bickslow shrugged, and he leant forward over the table to rest his chin in his palm. "Well, I'm making your decision easier for you then, aren't I?" he smirked. "Cobra and I would gladly be your kid's godparents, and I would happily look after him or her when you two die of some unfortunate and unforseen accident."

"Jeez, you're one morbid motherfucker sometimes," Erik muttered.

Bickslow leant over to the side then just to quickly kiss his husband's cheek, then murmured, "Yeah, but you still love me."

"Sometimes."

"But any who," Bickslow went on, looking back to Gajeel and to Lucy next to him who was only listening with interest and a smile on her lips. "We're the godparents. It's done. Deal. Awesome, thanks. Pleasure doing business with you."

Just then, Natsu, followed by the rest of Team Natsu, were coming up to their table, and looking to Lucy and Gajeel like they'd had their hearts ripped out, and Lucy could only raise an eyebrow at them all. "What? You made Bix and Cobra the godparents?" Natsu pouted. "No fair, Luce!"

Lucy held up her hands defensively and leant back on the bench. "Hey, we haven't decided on anything yet."

"That's a lie. We're the godparents. I called dibs. I win," Bickslow cut in.

Natsu turned his attention to the grinning and smug Seith mage opposite Lucy. "You're not the godfather!"

"I know that."

"Then why the hell are you saying that you are?!"

Bickslow grinned up at Natsu, then said, "Because I'm the godmother, moron."

"No! I'm the godmother!" Erza added from behind Natsu, her short sword already drawn and ready to be pointed towards Bickslow. "Lucy's child and my daughter will get along perfectly and I will teach them both the art of being a master swordswoman."

"Uh, can I object to that?" Lucy said quietly, but it only went ignored as she continued to watch them all fight over their claim to being her baby's godparents.

"Fuck off, Erza," Bickslow groaned, pointing his finger at her. "You're already Savannah's godmother. Share the children, please."

The scarlet haired woman shrugged. "One can never have enough god-babies."

"Um, yeah, you can. This one is mine. I called dibs."

Lucy sighed as she placed her glass of water back down on the table, and with Gray joining the argument and claiming his stake to the throne of godparents, Lucy glanced up to Gajeel, just to find him watching the entire interaction with that wicked smirk on his lips. He was having way too much fun watching it, but Lucy wasn't. It was honestly just beginning to annoy her, and even if she'd pretty much already decided that Bickslow and Erik would be her baby's godparents (she hadn't told Gajeel that she'd decided that long before she was pregnant in the first place, but he'd just have to deal with it) despite kind of being her baby's uncles too, she wasn't going to say that Bickslow and Erik were in fact going to be the godparents just yet.

She still had one thing to find out, so only raising her voice slightly over their loud argument which now had Bickslow playing rock-paper-scissors with Natsu, Gray, and Erza, she said, "Bix, honey, you do know you're a boy, right?"

"Last time Cobra checked, I was, yeah," Bickslow replied with a smirk as he glanced to the blonde. "Why?"

"Because that would make you a godfather, not the godmother," Lucy explained.

Bickslow shrugged, and pushed Natsu away when he whined and lost all rounds of their little game and sat down beside him. "Nah. Erik can be the godfather. I call dibs on being the godmother."

"You'd be a horrible godmother," Erza muttered from just behind him, her arms folded.

Bickslow tilted his head back and up to the armour-clad mage. "I'd be the best goddamn fairy godmother in the world." When she huffed and walked away back to Laxus who was only watching in amusement from the bar, Bickslow looked back to Lucy and shrugged again and added, "Plus, I'm a dude married to another dude, so one of us has to be the godmother."

"That's not how it works, you idiot," Gajeel said.

"I know, Metalhead, but I don't care. I'm the fairy godmother whether you want me to be or not."

"Well, I do actually want you two to be the godparents," Lucy smiled softly, and she laughed quietly when Cobra's eye widened in surprise and Bickslow looked like someone had just given him the best news he'd ever heard (which, it was probably close to being). "But why are you so set on being a _fairy_ godmother now?"

"One, Fairy Tail, and we're _all_ fairies here," Bickslow explained, his tongue lolling from his mouth with his wide grin for good measure. "Two, I can fly. With the babies, technically, so that counts. And three, because I just really wanna spoil the shit out of the kid and be an awesome godmother and make them love me more than they do you."

"Even though you're the kid's uncle too."

"Yup."

Lucy sighed with a shake of her head, and looked back up to Gajeel. He knew that look and that smile, because he saw it far too often when she wanted her way – and she always got her way because everyone was weak when it came to her. If she wanted the two idiots across from them to be the kid's godfathers (er, godparents, apparently), then that's what would happen. It wasn't that bad, he figured. It was better than having Natsu as a godparent, or even Gray. Gajeel was just a little worried that his kid would get burnt to a crisp or be turned into a human ice cube if they went anywhere near those two. Bickslow and Cobra weren't that bad.

Or at least, he hoped so.

"Go on, then," Gajeel muttered with a roll of his eyes.

Smiling brightly, Lucy turned back to Bickslow and Cobra and sat up straight as she tried to put on her best serious face as she cleared her throat. "Your mission, Bickslow, should you choose to accept it," Lucy began. "Is to be my daughter's, or my son's, though I'm really hoping it's a girl, fairy godmother. And you, Erik, is to—"

"Yeah yeah, whatever," the other Dragon Slayer mumbled. He'd be the kid's godparent, but he wasn't going to be a dork like his husband and sister-in-law. He left the idiocy to those two, because they just did it so well.

"Aw, you're no fun, Erik," Lucy giggled. "But Bix, do you accept your mission?"

"Hell fucking yes."

And with Bickslow quickly getting up to no doubt go rub it in Erza's face that he was the official fairy godmother of Lucy's unborn child, all Lucy could do was sit back again and watch Erik shake his head at his husband's antics. If it was one thing Lucy was now sure of though, it was that she knew exactly what to get Bickslow for Christmas that year, and that was a shirt that named him the best goddamn fairy godmother in all of Fiore.

* * *

 **A/Ns:** _Along with the few other chapters I have planned for this universe, this particular one was planned way back when I wrote Catch the Bouquet.  
Bix just really wanted to be a fairy godmother in my head, so I let him. Oh well. _

_Anyway. I hope you liked this one! There'll be a whole lot more of the BrOTP BixLu, plus some actual GaLu and BixCo if I can manage to tear myself away from the BixLu... They're too cute, okay? Don't judge me._

 _Please remember to review if you liked it! I'd love to know if you did._

 _Until next time._

 _\- April_


	4. Nosy Neighbours

_This ended up being shorter than I planned, just because it was supposed to have something else in it. But, I decided that something else will work better in another chapter. It's kinda weird, I know._

 _Anyway. I'm thinking the next chapter I do for this might be how Bix and Cobra ended up together, since, again, these aren't going to be in order._

* * *

 _ **Nosy Neighbours**_

* * *

Wrinkled fingers carefully pushed the curtains back from the window and Ethel stared at the two standing out the front of the house on the opposite side of the street. The blue haired man leaned in and kissed the heavily pregnant blonde's cheek, and then he was quickly jumping down from the small porch and crossing the yard to get back to his own house just next door. Ethel only shook her head and let the lace curtains close once again as she returned to dusting her egg cups.

It wasn't the first time she'd seen the two. She'd met the blonde, Lucy, and _her_ husband, just after they'd moved in, and then the mowhawk-ed man and _his_ husband when they'd moved in. She'd spoken to each of them a handful of times just because it was always good to know the neighbours.

But the four of them had been living across from her for just over a year, and Ethel had only noticed one thing: that Lucy and Bickslow happened to spend a hell of a lot of time together, and from what Ethel could tell, most of that time together was spent when their significant others were out. And, over the last few months specifically, with Lucy's husband spending more and more time away, Ethel had noticed that Bickslow had been spending more time in his neighbour's house than his own.

Ethel only wondered if their husbands knew that the two were having an affair. She doubted they did, with the amount of sneaking around they did. Hell, it wouldn't even surprise Ethel if Lucy's baby was actually her neighbour's and not her husband's.

* * *

Ethel heard the complaining of the two Dragons of the street from where she stood in her front garden with a watering can. The one with the wild mane of raven hair – Gajeel, Ethel was sure his name was – was the loud one. The other – Cobra, or maybe it was Erik, though Ethel couldn't remember which it was – was quiet, though when he did talk, he mostly just swore or insulted someone. He'd actually insulted her daisies within a week of moving in, and Ethel was never going to forgive him for that.

She waved them over once they were in front of her house, and Gajeel and Cobra only shared a look before slowly making their way over to the elderly woman.

Ethel nodded. "Evenin'," she muttered.

"What do you want?" Gajeel asked, skipping a greeting altogether. He wasn't exactly fond of knowing his neighbours (Bickslow and Erik included, even though they were basically his family at that point), and all he wanted to do right then was get home to Lucy because he'd been gone all week and he was really looking forward to not going on any more jobs for the next few months. He didn't exactly want to be exchanging pleasantries with a decrepit old woman.

"You know that man o' yours has been over at this fella's place all week?" Ethel said to Cobra while gesturing to Gajeel. Both Slayers only found themselves trying not to snicker at the woman's odd way of speaking. Add to that her accent, and Gajeel and Cobra were having a _very_ hard time trying to hide their amusement.

"At Lucy's?" Erik asked for his own benefit, and sighed when Ethel nodded quickly. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. The fucker basically lives there now." Of course, he didn't mind all that much. He did miss his husband sometimes, just because the guy was wicked good at cuddling, but for the most part, Cobra didn't care that Bickslow had taken to spending a lot more time with Lucy over the course of the last several months.

Add the fact that Gajeel had still been going out on his usual number of jobs (which was admittedly a lot) over those months, and Bickslow having a strange need to protect his baby sister and his godchild/niece and make sure nothing happened when Gajeel was gone, then it really wasn't surprising that he'd been there all week whilst himself and Gajeel had decided to take yet another job together… Mostly just to get away from their insane spouses.

More than once Cobra had wondered if Lucy had passed on some of her growing maternal instinct to Bickslow somehow. It was a strange situation with those two.

But what also didn't surprise Cobra was that Bickslow was over to Lucy and Gajeel's house right then. He could hear the two morons laughing about _something_ from where he stood on the other side of the street.

"And yer okay with that?" Ethel asked cautiously, arching an eyebrow slightly.

Cobra shrugged. "Not like I'm gonna stop the guy from seeing his sister, jeez."

"They're siblings?! Good heavens, that's _revolting_. You all disgust me," she muttered.

Gajeel looked to Cobra beside him just to see that he shared the same look of confusion. Just what was going on right then? The Poison Dragon Slayer only shrugged to Gajeel's silent question before they both turned back to the old woman. "Oi, just what are you even talking about?" Gajeel demanded.

Ethel only glared him over her shoulder before returning to watering her garden. "Ya just might wanna make sure that baby in that belly o' hers is actually yers," she muttered. It wouldn't surprise Ethel if the baby ended up being born with _blue_ hair, with the amount of time the two of them had been spending together since they'd moved in next door. Add to the mix that their respective partners (or at least Cobra) seemed to know exactly what was going on between them, and it was likely that her baby really was her apparent _brother's_.

But that in itself was disturbing. It made her skin crawl. And they didn't even look related, either! Ethel didn't exactly want to be getting all that involved, though. Her neighbours were far too weird for her liking.

Cobra only let out a sudden bark of laughter then, and Gajeel, who was still only trying to figure out just what was going on, gave him another look as if to say, _'just what the fucking hell are you laughing about now?'_ The answer to that question was the image of what Lucy's daughter – who had already been named Andromeda for some bizarre reason that Cobra didn't really care to know – would look like if _Bickslow_ was her father, rather than Gajeel. Aside from Ethel's imagination being rather twisted, it was quite a funny sight.

"They're not even related," Erik laughed. It wasn't that out of the ordinary for him to do that, considering he'd been with the guild's resident clown for three years and he seemed to have lightened up just a little bit because of Bickslow, but it was still something that only made Gajeel raise a pierced eyebrow every time it happened. "And trust me, those two aren't fucking each other." Once, about six years earlier they had, apparently, but never again after that.

"You think…?" Gajeel looked between the other Slayer and the elderly woman who only seemed to be glaring at them now, and then he was bursting into laughter and doubling over from it. "You think those two are having an affair?!" he choked out around his undying laughter.

That was quite possibly the best thing he had heard in his entire life. Well, apart from Lucy saying _'I Do'_ to him, then telling him they were finally having a baby, then telling him that said baby was a girl (Gajeel had still yet to figure out why he had wanted her to be having a girl so badly). Those were all pretty great. But hearing that his neighbour thought that his wife and his sort-of brother-in-law were having an affair? That was gold.

Pure fucking gold.

Neither bothered saying anything else to the woman before they turned and slowly made their way back across the street to go to Gajeel's house. There just wasn't anything else to say to that. Though, as they did make their way back, with Cobra mostly having to drag Gajeel because he was still howling with laughter, they did manage to catch the old woman mutter something under her breath about how her neighbours were strange.

But that wasn't right.

Their _spouses_ were the strange ones, thank you very much. Gajeel and Cobra were relatively sane.

* * *

"Husbands! You're back!" Bickslow and Lucy shouted at the same time as the two Dragon Slayers walked into the living room.

It didn't surprise the two of them that they were on the lounge together with Bickslow leaning his head on Lucy's shoulder, though it did surprise Gajeel to find Lily perched on a pillow in one corner. He hadn't even noticed the Exceed leaving during the brief conversation with Ethel, but Gajeel couldn't exactly blame him for getting out of there.

"Now I get it," Erik mumbled as Bickslow made no attempt to get up. Though in his defence, Lucy was comfortable. "This is why people think you're sleeping together."

Bickslow smirked but sighed dramatically. "Damn it. Our secret is out."

Lucy nodded. "Seems like it," she giggled. "Should we run away now?"

"Nah. Running involves effort."

"That's a good point. Plus, I can't exactly run right now anyway. But I should be able to in three or so weeks! Can you wait until then?"

"'Course, Cosplayer. Then we can briskly walk away with Andra and live happily ever after."

"Sounds like a plan," she laughed again.

"God, you two are dorks," Gajeel muttered. He stepped forward from where he stood next to Cobra who was only shaking his head with his face in his palm, and then grabbed the Seith mage's arm just to pull him up from the lounge. He doubted that Bickslow would have gotten up on his own, anyway.

Lucy smiled as her husband sat down next to her on the lounge. "But you love us _because_ we're dorks," she reminded him quietly.

"No." He kissed her cheek and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I love you, but not _him_."

"Liar. You love me," the Seith mage insisted as he clung to his husband (who, was only staring at down at the blue-and-black haired man who was resting his head on his shoulder).

"I don't, and I don't have to, either. I married Bunny, not you. I'm just unfortunately stuck with putting up with you."

Bickslow huffed but only looked up to his slight wary husband with a wicked grin. "That's okay. I don't need your love. As long as I have Cobra and Lucy then I'm okay."

Cobra glared at him from the corner of his eye. "And if you don't get that tongue away from my face, I might just poison you," he warned. And quickly, the Seith mage's strangely long tongue was retreating back into his mouth and he was flashing an apologetic grin.

He remembered what happened the last time he got poisoned by his husband. It wasn't a very fun time, and it was something he did not want to repeat.

Gajeel cleared his throat suddenly and narrowed his eyes at the two. "Can you two just go home already?" he almost growled. Was it too much to ask for his house to be free of his neighbours so he could just snuggle with his wife and ask about her week? Apparently.

"Must we?" Bickslow asked.

"Yes."

Bickslow rolled his eyes and let Cobra begin to drag him out of the room. "Fine," he groaned, but then pulled free just enough to stick his head around the corner and look to Lucy who was curled up slightly on the lounge. Despite being in her last month, she wasn't all that big. "But sibling outing day tomorrow, yeah?" he asked.

Lucy nodded. "Yup!" She wasn't going to miss that day for the world, not that she ever would, anyway, but it was the last one she'd get to go on for a while with Andromeda being due in just a few more weeks, so she was going to savour it and enjoy it.

Though, the sibling outing days where she would get to bring Andra along were going to be incredibly fun. She already knew that.

The front door closed and Gajeel let out a sigh. Finally, there was some peace and quiet, even though he could still hear Bickslow and Erik talking as they walked back to their own home just next door. He looked down to the blonde who was nestled against his side and smiled softly. "So what exactly are you two doing tomorrow?" he asked.

She looked up with a smirk. "Oh, come on. You know I'm not going to tell you."

He shrugged. "Worth a shot," he mumbled. "What about the hatchling though? Still all good?"

"Mm-hmm. _Andra_ is still all good. I haven't slept in like three days because she keeps moving and trying to beat me up from the inside, but she's good."

"It's because she's a Redfox."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it is."


	5. The Beginning - Part 1

_Firstly, I haven't proofread this. I'll get around to it at some point this week. Secondly, I'm probably pushing the boundaries of the T rating again, but I don't really want to change the rating to M. And thirdly, this is so bad I don't even know why I'm uploading it at all. I can't write awkward feelings for the life of me. Honestly, I'd rather write smut than awkward feelings._

 _Oh, and fourthly, there'll be actual GaLu at some point. Part 2 is the GaLu version. I just really like writing brotp BixLu and BixCo. The GaLu beginning won't be the next chapter, though. That's... something else._

 _Anyway. Enjoy this horribleness. Maybe. I hope._

* * *

 **The Beginning - Part 1**

* * *

Bickslow wasn't new to waking up in someone else's bed – or having someone else wake up in his, for that matter. He was sort of used to it, if anything, even if he wasn't half as bad as he bad been a few years earlier. But waking up next to a guildmate? That was _not_ something Bickslow was used to. He usually just stayed the fuck away from anyone in the guild because getting involved with anyone in the guild was a horrible idea, and that wasn't even taking into account the fact that only a handful of people knew he was actually gay…

So really, for Bickslow to be waking up next to someone from the guild was making his head hurt even more than it already was, because the last thing he even remembered from the night before was getting drunk with Laxus and Cobra at some bar. But now here Bickslow was the next morning, lying in someone else's bed, and… He lifted up the sheet carefully to peek at the person next to him.

And he was lying to an equally as naked Cobra.

Just how the fuck had he gone from getting drunk off his face with the man, to being in his bed? Really. He wanted to know. Because honestly, Bickslow was worried he'd drunkenly blurted out the fact that he liked the guy just a little bit more than he should. That was something not even _Lucy_ knew, and Bickslow told Lucy everything just because she was like his sister and his best friend. But the part where he liked someone who was most likely _not_ into guys was just something Bickslow had thought was best he kept to himself.

Now, though…

Now Bickslow was in bed with him, and he didn't know how that had even come to be in the first place.

Was he supposed to leave before Cobra woke up? That was probably wise, right? That way they wouldn't have to have some kind of awkward conversation, and Bickslow really didn't want to have an awkward conversation. Awkward was bad. Especially after sex.

And Bickslow had never really cared much if someone he'd slept with at his place left before he woke up. Made things easier and nothing was confusing in the slightest, because no feelings got involved, and it was always a good thing when no feelings were involved.

Except unfortunately for Bickslow, Cobra was already waking up at the same time anyway, and before Bickslow could even swing his legs over to the side of the mattress to sit up, the Poison Dragon Slayer's indigo eye was opening as his mouth opened to groan into the pillow, and then he was just staring at the Seith mage next to him. "What the fucking hell are you doing here?" were the first words to come out of Erik's mouth then, and all Bickslow was able to do was grimace and stare back at the man.

"Uh, if I knew, I'd tell you," Bickslow mumbled. "Promise."

Erik couldn't remember what had happened the night before, either. All he knew was that he'd had too much to drink, and by under no circumstances should he go out drinking with Laxus (the man was a lightweight, surprisingly, and had left first. That much Erik remembered) and Bickslow again.

Still, why the fuck was the guy in _his_ bed? It wasn't lost to Erik what they'd obviously ended up doing at some point during the night. He didn't really care much, honestly; he was just confused. Wasn't Bickslow into chicks? Erik had always just assumed the he was fucking Lucy, even if she'd been with Gajeel for like eighteen months or something crazy at that point. But now, Erik just had no fucking clue. It wasn't really like it mattered much, but he was curious.

He'd never admit to anyone that Bickslow had always made Erik just a little curious, right since he'd ended up following Jellal all the fucking way to Fairy Tail. He was the only person Erik had come across that had the ability to keep his soul hidden away, and Erik just didn't know how he did it. He was sure it had something to do with Bickslow's magic, but that was it. It was almost annoying that he couldn't figure Bickslow out, and the fact that Erik really was more confused than ever wasn't helping.

At that point, though, Erik was just too confused to stop himself from turning back to the awkward Seith mage beside him and asking, "Since when were you fucking guys?"

"Uh…" Bickslow figured now was _not_ the time to get technical. And even if Bickslow hadn't exactly wanted to tell the entire world (er, _guild_ ) that he was actually into men, he didn't really see the point in denying or even lying to Cobra about it. "Since always, I guess," he mumbled. "You? Or was it just because you were drunk you decided you wanted to sleep with a guy?"

Well, the fact Erik had been drunk wasn't that far from being the reason he'd slept with Bickslow, but it wasn't really the _only_ reason. Even having had so much to drink that he couldn't even remember anything the next morning, Erik really wouldn't have slept with him at all if he wasn't actually attracted to men. And he really was. He'd just… never bothered telling anyone other than Macbeth, because the fact he liked dick was really no one else's business – well, other than whoever he decided to fuck. And really, he didn't sleep with people very often. Rarely, even. That involved dealing with people and people were hard to deal with sometimes.

But the fact that Erik's shyness – something he was still trying to get Sorano to stop _lying_ about – was the sole reason behind his hatred of all kind of relationships, especially romantic (ugh, _gross_ ), was not something Bickslow was going to find out about. His sexuality, on the other hand… Where the hell was the point in hiding it now?

"What? You really think my sense of style has nothing to do with how long I've been in the goddamn closet?"

Bickslow had to stop himself from laughing. Or even smiling. He didn't want to laugh if the guy was actually serious about it. But he couldn't help the way the corner of his mouth curled up slightly, not with how the Dragon Slayer had that usual mischievous glint in his eye. "That's a joke, right?" Bickslow asked. Really, he hoped it was a joke.

"Possibly."

"Possibly?"

Erik shrugged. It was supposed to be a joke, but really, Erik prided himself on his fashion sense. Sorano and Macbeth gave him shit for it but he didn't give a shit about them most of the time (sort of). And if he couldn't even make fun of himself for being a closeted gay, he saw it as being ashamed of who he was, when he wasn't. He just didn't think anyone else needed to know about it. "Well, I mean…" Erik merely nodded towards the Seith mage beside him, giving him a judging once-over. "For a gay man, _you_ have a horrible sense of style."

Bickslow only arched an eyebrow at the Dragon Slayer.

"For starters," Erik continued. He was already having fun, and strangely, Bickslow didn't seem offended. He was strange. "There's that stupid piece of metal you wear all the fucking time. And then what the fuck is that purple thing on the top of your head? Is there an actual reason for it? Why don't you just fucking grown your hair out and dye it purple and be done with it? And then your _clothes_. I can't tell if you're trying to look more like a jester or some kind of knight. And then your hair… I just…" Erik shook his head. "I don't even know what the fuck is going on there."

Bickslow wasn't even mad, really. He really was finding it entertaining. His lack of style was not hurt in the slightest. "You do know that gay guys having better style is actually a myth, right?"

"Must be if you're gay."

" _Ouch_."

But Bickslow still wasn't offended. It was fucking great. Cobra was sassy and snarky and… _Fuck, I think I like him more._ That was a bad thing. Feelings would start getting involved if he liked him any more and that was a horrible thing. But… Even if he wasn't offended, and even if the conversation hadn't been half as awkward as he'd thought it to be, Bickslow wasn't really all that interested in sticking around – not even if he was internally and low-key thanking whoever invented tequila.

So he was only shaking his head to himself as he finally sat up and swung his legs around the side of the mattress. "Are you always this much of an asshole to people after you have sex with them? Or am I just special or something?"

"Oh, you're very special indeed." And within two seconds, Erik was internally berating himself for saying something so stupid. Bickslow wasn't special. Nope. Not at all. He only wished he could wipe the man's stupid smirk off his lips right then, too, and that he was putting his visor in instead of his pants. Well, sort of. Pants were great, too, but the Seith mage was almost too easy to look at without the visor – even with the stupid hairstyle Erik couldn't wrap his head around. But before Bickslow could notice the fact that he was blushing, Erik only quickly rolled to have his back to the man as he continued pulling his stupid clothes on, then grumbled into the pillow right as he pulled the sheet up over his head, "Just fuck off already."

* * *

Bickslow lasted a week before he found himself caving and looking for Lucy. He'd really had no intentions of sharing the fact he'd somehow ending up sleeping with Cobra, just because it wasn't anyone's business just who he had sex with, but the last week had only seen Bickslow finding himself on the verge of wanting to tear his hair out. He hadn't been able to go more than ten minutes without thinking of the stupid one-eyed bastard, and had been slowly driving him insane.

And really, Bickslow just needed to get it all off his chest, and there was no one better than Lucy to go to for that. That was just what they did, and there were certain things Bickslow really didn't want to tell his team, which meant Lucy knew all of his deepest and darkest secrets. But that was okay, because he knew hers, too. They were even.

Still, the whole fucked up situation with the rudest of the Dragon Slayers (Gajeel was probably in second place, with Laxus following closely behind in third, but Cobra was most definitely in first) was not something Bickslow could keep to himself anymore. Because as it turns out, he couldn't deal with crushes very well. So as he walked into the guild early that afternoon with the babies trailing behind him, Bickslow did his very best to not look at the sassy and snarky Dragon Slayer he was unfortunately far too interested in, and was zig-zagging his way towards his favourite person.

"Cosplayer! Cosplayer!"

The babies announced the Seith mage's presence before he'd even reached where Lucy was, of course, sitting with Gajeel, and Gajeel only rolled his eyes as Lucy opened her arms up to the wooden dolls and forgot all about him.

"Hello, babies," Lucy giggled, letting Pippi nuzzle her cheek before she looked up to smile at Bickslow. "Hey, Bixy."

He only smiled a little awkwardly as he stood next to her, and only let the other four babies fly back under his cloak as Pippi stayed with Lucy – Pippi was Lucy's favourite. "Do you mind if I borrow your girlfriend for a little while?" he asked Gajeel quietly.

Gajeel scoffed. "Since when do you ask?" Really, Bickslow never asked. Half the time, _he_ was the one who was having to ask to spend time with Lucy, but the worst part was that Gajeel was used to it. Sort of. He'd long accepted the fact that Lucy and Bickslow were unfortunately a package deal.

"Eh, you're right. Figured I'd just try this whole 'polite' thing for a change," the Seith mage mumbled. So then he just turned his attention back to Lucy and held out his arm for her. "I really do need to borrow you right now though."

"You know I'm really all yours. No need to borrow me," Lucy giggled again. Pippi came to sit on her shoulder as she only turned to wave back to her scowling dragon with a smirk. "I'll come over later, okay?"

She didn't even hear Gajeel's grumbled response, but she was sure she got an eye roll out of him. He was the king of eye rolls.

So then when they were outside and slowly meandering their way through Magnolia, arms still linked together, Lucy looked back up to the unusually quiet Seith mage beside her and finally asked, "So why do you need to _borrow_ me today, Bixy?"

"Uh… Sibling Outing Day?" he suggested. He didn't want to talk about it in public, and considering half of their Sibling Outing Days occurred in either one of their homes because they really just loved their movie marathons, it seemed like a good answer.

"But our last one was just on the weekend," she pointed out.

Bickslow rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. "Emergency Sibling Outing Day then?"

"Wait, hold up." Lucy pulled them to a stop in the middle of the street and looked up to her favourite Seith mage. Something wasn't right, and if he was calling for an _emergency_ Sibling Outing Day, then something was very wrong – or at the very least bothering him a great deal. "Is this a pyjama party and getting trashed in the middle of the afternoon level emergency?"

They'd only done that twice before. Pyjama party and getting trashed in the middle of the afternoon usually involved _all_ the feelings being shared, and that was basically what Bickslow planned on doing. So he nodded a little reluctantly. "Uh, yeah. I guess," he admitted.

Lucy nodded back and pulled her arm free and gently pushed Pippi off her shoulder. "Right. Let me go home and get my clothes, then I'll come over, okay? And I'll bring the food, too. You can deal with the drinks. Oh! Can you please get that—"

"The peach vodka?" It was Lucy's favourite. But he'd run out of it the last time they'd gotten drunk on one of their movie nights. "I'll get some. But can you bring—"

"The garlic bread and those weird cheese biscuit things you love. Of course."

"They're not weird, thank you very much. They're amazing."

"Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, Bixy," she smirked as she stepped back to head for her apartment. "They're weird and you know it."

* * *

"Okay." Lucy set her drink – peach vodka and lemonade – down on the coffee table and tucked her feet under her as she looked back to the Seith mage next to her. "Spill." They were in their pyjamas, all of the food had been cooked and set out for them to gorge themselves on, drinks had been made, and they'd chosen their movies for the night. It was time for Bickslow to tell her just what was important enough to warrant an emergency Sibling Outing Day.

Bickslow only shrugged as he pulled apart the slice of garlic bread. "Right. Well, uh… You know how I'm gay, right?" he began, tearing the piece apart again before shoving the rest of it into his mouth.

"Mm-hmm," she hummed.

"And you know how I don't exactly flaunt it? Because, I mean, it's not really like anyone desperately needs the know that I'm into guys."

"Uh-huh…"

"Well, um…" He hesitated for a moment before he picked up the bottle of beer he'd left on the coffee table and downed the rest of it in one go. "I kind of really like someone and I don't know what to do," Bickslow quickly said.

Lucy's eyes lit up and she shuffled on the lounge excitedly. She'd only been waiting for this moment for _years_ – well, it was like three, but it was still years. "Oh oh oh. Who is he?" she asked. "Is he in the guild?"

"Uh, yes. He's in the guild."

"Are we friends with them?"

"Sort of? I mean, we're not exactly that close, but, yeah, I guess we're friends," Bickslow mumbled.

"Tell me who he is then!"

Bickslow was tearing off another piece of garlic bread and shovelling it into his mouth before quietly mumbling, "Cobra…"

"Did you just say _Cobra_?" Lucy stuttered. "As in… As in _Erik_? He's gay?!"

"Uh, I suppose. I mean, I don't really know, to be honest. But we slept together."

"Holy shit, really? How did that happen?"

Bickslow shrugged. He still hadn't quite figured out how it had happened, and he really didn't think he ever would. "I… I don't know. We were at a bar last week and then we just… I don't know. I don't even remember what happened. I just know that I woke up next to him the next morning."

Lucy was only stuck staring at her brother for a few more moments before she found herself giggling quietly. It was really quite entertaining. It shouldn't be, because Bickslow was obviously troubled by it all, but she just couldn't help herself. Of all the people for Bickslow to end up crushing on, it was the one person in the guild who probably outdid him in terms of being a sarcastic asshole. That was, to Lucy, pretty entertaining. And it was adorable, too.

She didn't even stop laughing though when Bickslow flicked her in the middle of her forehead and told her to stop laughing at him. "I'm… I'm sorry," she giggled. "I c-can't help it."

He only shook his head when she fell on him and continued to laugh. And people thought _he_ had a twisted sense of humour (well, he did. But he was also sure he was a bad influence on Lucy. Oh well). "You could at least tell me what you find so funny," he grumbled, though it was with a smirk. He couldn't help himself either.

"Just that it's Erik," she answered. "I mean, he's just… He's just so perfect for you!" She'd never even expected Erik to be gay (or at the very least interested in men), but she kind of loved it. And she probably shouldn't care so much, because who _Erik_ liked wasn't any of her business, but _Bickslow's_ business was always her business, too, and really, there was just something about those two that just had Lucy feeling like Mirajane. They had to be perfect for each other, because Lucy just really needed to see it happen.

Bickslow raised an eyebrow at her. How could it go from admitting he liked the guy to Lucy thinking he was absolutely perfect for him? "Please explain."

"Well, he's kind of an asshole," she began, shuffling again so she had her head laid on his lap and was looking up at him. "You're kind of an asshole too, Bix. No offence."

"Eh, none taken. I know I'm one."

"He's sassy as all hell, too. And snarky an oh so rude, I suppose."

"Oh. Very," Bickslow agreed around another piece of garlic bread. "He insulted my fashion sense _and_ my hair before I even had my pants on. I mean, I get the fashion sense, because really, I don't give a shit about clothes. But my hair? My hair is offended."

Lucy rolled her eyes. Her adopted brother was such an idiot sometimes, but really, it was mostly why she loved him so much. "You're such a dork," she sighed. "But, really, you have no fashion sense at all."

"Oh, shush."

"Maybe you could get some fashion advice from Erik."

He leaned over her to reach for the closest alcoholic drink – it was the bottle of peach vodka – and brought it to his mouth, and he let out a nervous laugh after he took a swig from it. "Yeah, sure," Bickslow scoffed. He had to suppress the shiver from the taste of it. He'd never liked peach much. Couldn't even understand how Lucy loved it so much.

"So how long have you liked him?" Lucy asked softly. This was really the part she'd been waiting for, too. Bickslow had let her get drunk and vent when she'd been worried about Levy before she'd first started dating Gajeel, and now it was her turn to let Bickslow get drunk and talk about Erik.

Bickslow shrugged. _Ah, yes. Actual feelings time._ "A month, maybe?"

"So before you had sex?" He nodded. She sat up to let Bickslow lay his head on her shoulder and she took the bottle from him to sip from it. The lemonade didn't interest her anymore. "I'm guessing the fact you didn't even mention that you liked him was because you didn't know he was gay?" she asked.

"No point in telling you I had a crush on a straight dude."

"Except Erik isn't straight."

"Didn't know that until _after_ I'd gotten so drunk I don't even remember sleeping with him though," he pointed out.

Lucy sighed and let the Seith mage take the vodka back. "Well, you liked him before then, right? Maybe he already had feelings for you too."

"Yeah, I wish." Really, it would be great if he did. At least then he wouldn't feel so awkward if the guy liked him back, because unrequited feelings were just so horrible. Bickslow hated them.

"He might though. You never know," she said. "Erik might've just assumed _you_ weren't into guys."

"Luce, I'm pretty sure half of the guild has already figured out I'm gay, even _without_ me telling them."

"Yeah, but the _other_ half of the guild still thinks we're sleeping together," Lucy pointed out, only getting a half-hearted laugh from the Seith mage.

"But we _do_ sleep together," he chuckled. "Except we don't actually fuck. We just cuddle. And actually sleep."

She rolled her eyes. " _Still_..." she continued, "I think Erik might like you." Or, really, she hoped Erik liked Bickslow. It would have her matchmaker dreams come true, and she was so excited to be able to go on double dates. Gajeel had flat out refused to go on any, but if it was with Bickslow, she would be able to convince him to go.

"I doubt it. Really."

"You should see if he wants to go on a date."

"Fuck no."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't even go anywhere near the guy without getting nervous and feeling like I'm gonna fuck up even saying _hi_ to him," he muttered.

"Aw, Bixy…" She couldn't help giggling as she quickly threw her arms around him and hugged his head. It was a habit she'd picked up from Erza over the years, and really, even for a gay man, Bickslow had on more than one occasion told Gajeel he was very lucky. He loved her boobs almost as much as her boyfriend did, so he really didn't mind having his face pressed against them. "That's adorable."

"Yes. Very," he mumbled.

"You never said you don't want to ask him on a date though," she pointed out.

Bickslow felt his face heat up – though where his face currently was probably had something to do with it. "I… Uh…" Well, Bickslow wouldn't exactly say no to going on a date with Cobra – he wouldn't say no at all, actually. He just didn't really want to think about it because if he thought about it too much, he'd probably end up getting disappointed because it would be way too perfect if Cobra actually liked him back, and the world wasn't exactly all that perfect.

And when Lucy began to giggle quietly again, he only sat back up with a scowl and flicked her forehead again. "Stop laughing at my feelings, you wench," he muttered. "I didn't laugh at you when you said you liked Gajeel. Not even when you said you wanted to fuckin' ride him off into the sunset and have his babies."

"How is it you can remember something I said nearly two years ago when I was completely off my face, but you can't even remember how you ended up fucking Erik a week ago?"

Bickslow only shrugged as Lucy went back to giggling so much she was almost crying, and he took the bottle of vodka back from her just so she didn't drop it. "How the hell am I supposed to know?" It was probably some kind of gift.

* * *

Erik was so close to buying all the pillows in the world just so he could pile them all on top of Midnight and crush the narcoleptic panda. If the man said he had a crush on the Seith mage one more time, Erik really _would_ crush Midnight under a mountain of pillows. _Sweet fuckin' dreams, Macbeth!_

But really, Erik didn't have a crush on Bickslow.

Maybe.

Sort of.

Well, it was possible. But he didn't really want to think about it much. Thinking about it meant he really did like him more than he should, which made thinking the worst idea ever.

If anything, Erik was just intrigued by Bickslow. Yeah, that was it. Erik was curious about him, because it was only natural to be curious about the one person who seemed to have the uncanny ability to keep his soul silent and hidden from him, right?

It had nothing to do with the fact that Erik really just wanted to _kiss_ the guy's stupid as all hell smirk off his face (a thought that had had Erik wishing he could actually poison _himself_ ). Or how Erik really just wanted to know just how the fuck someone like Lucy could be so close to him – either she was insane or Bickslow was a somewhat decent person with her. And it most definitely had nothing to do with how Erik was strangely glad Bickslow was actually gay, just because he most definitely did not want to have a crush on a straight man, and liking someone who was actually into guys was something he could deal with.

…Not that he would admit he liked Bickslow.

Maybe.

Okay, so Erik liked Bickslow. More than he should. And he really, _really_ did just want to kiss the guy's smirk off his lips… But Erik didn't know if he could or not, or even know _how_ to.

He was really just too scared of going and talking to Bickslow. Erik didn't like confrontations at the best of times, or even talking to people, really. But the idea of talking to Bickslow about how he maybe, probably liked him and kind of, sort of really wanted to go out with him sometime made Erik just want to stay in bed all day and drink three bottles of bleach just for the sake of it.

Erik had already decided that, if he by some chance found the courage to talk to Bickslow and it turned out Bickslow wanted to leave it as a one-night stand, he could do one of two things. Firstly, he could poison Bickslow, make it seem like an accident, and go about his life as normal so no one would know he'd embarrassed himself – because really, he'd never actually asked anyone one in his entire life and he was sure he was going to embarrass himself. Or secondly, he could leave the guild and move far, far away. He'd been looking for a reason to leave Fairy Tail anyway.

If it turns out Bickslow didn't want to leave it as a one-night stand… Well, honestly, Erik had no fucking clue what he'd do then. He hadn't really thought about that much, because he hadn't even wanted to think about the fact he liked Bickslow at all.

But he did. Unfortunately.

It was driving Erik insane. And he was actually closer to burying himself under a mountain of pillows just so he would at least be comfortable as he died. That would be nice.

But what _wasn't_ nice, was quite literally walking into the fucking guy on his way home one night. Was that what Erik got for letting himself thinking about the guy and wonder what he'd do if it turned out Bickslow wanted to get to know him too? Probably. _Here, you like someone that's actually into guys too? Let's have them literally walk into you!_ The world was horrible enough to do that – at least, that was what Erik thought.

"U-Uh, hey!" Bickslow spoke first. He only wished he had his visor right then, just because he was sure the street lights were just bright enough that Cobra would actually be able to see how much he was blushing.

Erik shoved his hands into his pockets and avoided looking at him. "Yeah, hi…" he mumbled.

 _Oh fuck me. This is so awkward._ Bickslow was sure it was so horrible just because he'd made a point of not talking to him for the last two weeks, despite how much Lucy had been bugging him to. Hell, even Gajeel had started bugging him about it just a couple of hours earlier when he'd been helping Lucy pack so she could move in with Gajeel.

But had he had any intentions of asking Cobra out? Nope, just because he was sure the guy wasn't even close to being interested in him. And honestly, considering how uncomfortable Cobra seemed right then, Bickslow was all the more sure of that. "So, uh…" Bickslow cleared his throat. "How's your night been?" What was wrong with small talk? _Probably everything._

"Um, fine, I suppose."

Bickslow nodded and gave an awkward smile. _Ah, yes. Time to go. Small talk was most definitely a bad idea. He wants nothing to do with me right now. Got it._ "That's good. Well, enjoy the rest of your night then."

Erik only nodded and turned slightly so Bickslow could step past him, but he could only put a few paces between them before Erik was dragging a hand down his face in a fit of frustration and calling back to the Seith mage, "Wait, hold on…"

Really, the worst that could happen right then was that he'd end up murdering a guildmate. That wouldn't be the end of the world. Sort of. He'd probably just a little mad at himself, and annoyed, but he'd survive.

When he found himself back in front of Bickslow, he was just a little glad they'd found themselves in a pocket of shadows between the street lights, just because _he_ was the one blushing right then, and it wasn't a very good look on him. Not at all. Still, he could only glance up to Bickslow as he tried to figure out just what he was supposed to say. "I, uh… I just um… wanted to…" Erik was only pulling his lip between his teeth for a second before he muttered, "Ah, fuck this." And then he was grabbing Bickslow's face and quickly pressing their lips together.

Bickslow just stared at the Dragon Slayer in front of him when Erik just as abruptly pulled away. Had that just happened? Had Cobra really just kissed him? _Holy fucking shit **what**?! _ He'd just assumed Erik kind of hated him, but you didn't kiss people you hate. Well, most of the time.

"U-Um… You… _Huh_?" Bickslow's brain had yet to come back online at that point and he couldn't think of anything else to say. He was really just confused.

And really, turning back around and pretending it didn't happen seemed like the smarter idea right then for Erik, because he wasn't all that fond of making a fool of himself, but he also couldn't actually move his feet anymore. He was stuck. He had frozen. In front of the Seith mage. After he had just kissed him.

He was in hell right then.

Of course, Erik figured he should probably just get the embarrassing part over and done with, so he was looking down and everywhere but Bickslow's face – because he was strangely cute when he looked that dazed – as he mumbled, "Do you, uh… Maybe… Sometime… Want to, uh… Do something?"

"Are you asking me out right now?"

Erik made a face and shrugged. "No," he scoffed. "'Course not."

"Oh."

He cleared his throat and glanced up to the Seith mage. "W-Well… Maybe," he admitted quietly before he was continuing as bluntly as ever, "Just say yes or no, dude. It's not fucking hard. Either you want to go on a date with me or you don't." He just wanted that moment to be over.

 _Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit._ Bickslow was sure that if Lucy was there right then, she'd probably be hiding behind him, giggling and pushing him forwards, just because he was probably not going to be moving on his own. He was really too busy internally freaking out and acting like a teenage girl to move, because holy fucking shit Cobra just asked _him_ out?!

But Bickslow was, of course, not letting that show. Or at least he was _trying_ not to. And he only nodded and was trying really hard not to laugh, because he was really good at laughing at horrible moments. "U-Uh, yeah, sure," he said nervously. "We could, uh… Do something. Sometime. On a date."

"Oh. Cool." Erik only mentally cringed at the words, but really, it wasn't like he'd known what else to say anyway. He'd deal with wanting to cringe.

"Yeah, well, uh, I should probably be getting back home now," Bickslow said. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face, not even if he'd tried to, and the smirk that Cobra was trying to hide was only making Bickslow want to smile more. "You know, really late and all… So we can figure out something to do like, tomorrow? Or something?"

"Yeah, I guess…" _Really, way to sound unenthusiastic. Make him change his mind, why don't you?_

Bickslow wasn't worried about it, though. He was used to grumpy Dragon Slayers. "Well, night then, I suppose!" Bickslow waved as he went to turn and continue heading home, but then he was stopping and quickly turning back to face the Poison Slayer and mumbling, "Oh. One more thing." And then Bickslow was getting even and bringing his lips down to Cobra's.

Except Bickslow wasn't pulling away, and neither was Cobra, and that made Bickslow happy to no end. He only closed his eyes that time and enjoyed their lips slowly moving over one another, because _holy fucking shit, he's a really good kisser._ Bickslow could most definitely get used to that.

But that was what had Erik pulling away quickly again and he was just narrowing his eye at the Seith mage. "Did you just… Did you really just think that?" he questioned.

"Think what?"

"That I'm a really good kisser." He'd heard it. Erik swore it. It most definitely couldn't have been his imagination. But Bickslow blushing again had the corner of Erik's mouth curling up into another smirk and chuckling quietly to himself. He wasn't even sure why he was suddenly able to hear Bickslow's soul, but it was too brilliant _not_ to laugh at.

"U-Uh… No." _Shit. I forgot he could do that._

"Liar," Erik chuckled. "I heard that too."

"Get out of my head, asshole," Bickslow muttered.

"Make me," he smirked.

Bickslow only shook his head and turned to step past the Dragon Slayer. "I'll see you tomorrow, Cobra," Bickslow sighed. He really just needed to go home and sleep. He could go and talk to Lucy about how Cobra had asked _him_ out in the morning. Sleep was more important.

It was just that Bickslow was already a few metres away from Cobra by the time he'd realised his apartment was in the complete opposite direction. Trust a crush to have him getting his directions mixed up. And of course, when Bickslow was quickly turning to dashing past Cobra again and muttering under his breath about how he'd been going the wrong way, that was what had Cobra suddenly bursting out in laughter in the middle of the quiet street.


	6. The Coleslaw Incident

_I finally, finally, finally managed to get this addition finished. And yes, I'm well aware that it's been close to a year since I last updated this. I'm sorry for that, I am. But... This was never going to be a story I updated frequently, just like the HWHL series. It's there for when motivation and inspiration strikes._

 _Anyway, this chapter is a bit longer than the rest have been, so I hope it makes up for how long it's been since I updated this. And, yes, I know that is isn't on my list of priorities, but along with Neighbours from Hell, and The Reaper and the Angel, I have chapters in my WIP list that I do plan on getting finished soon, so these chapters will obviously be exceptions to that hiatus/on hold announcement. (Also, this was, for some reason, like the second highest requested in that poll I ran a few months back, so... yeah, that kind of helped me decide to finally start working on this chapter.)_

 _Also, one of these days, I will add some actual GaLu fluff to this. One day. The Beginning Part 2 will have it, obviously. And, well... There'll be lots of baby fluff eventually too. So much baby fluff..._

 _And another quick announcement for this AU: yes, this will be changing to M at some point. Not anytime soon, however. But for various reasons, it will be changing to M..._

 _For now though, I hope you enjoy it! Reviews are always appreciated, as you know._

* * *

 **The Coleslaw Incident**

* * *

Gajeel didn't bother hiding his scowl as he collapsed down onto the sheet-covered bed now sitting in the middle of their bedroom. "This is stupid, you know that, right?" he grumbled as he sat up to watch his wife and Exceed throw the white sheet over the large, round chair in the corner of the room – it was his wife's favourite chair in the whole house, and Gajeel was fairly certain she would murder someone if it ended up getting a single drop of paint on it. She was still a little mad at him for spilling a glass of water on one of the cushions.

Lucy only smiled over her shoulder before taking another sheet from Pantherlily. "It's not stupid," she disagreed. "You heard what Wendy said, now don't tell me you think she's stupid."

"Of course I don't!" Wendy was the smartest and purest person in the whole goddamn guild as far as Gajeel was concerned.

"Ah, so it must be the whole _protecting our unborn daughter_ thing that's stupid. Gotcha."

"W-Wait, that's not what I—" Gajeel was quick to defend himself and even began waving his arms in front of his face as he stared at his wife in utter horror over what she'd just accused of him, but then found himself trailing off when Lucy began giggling.

"I'm just playing with you," Lucy laughed. Gajeel was back to scowling at her as she laid the last of the sheets over her dressing table and mirror. "I know you don't think _that's_ stupid."

Gajeel could only sigh as he sat up just to rest his forehead against Lucy's growing belly once she came to stand in front of him. Despite his original aversion to the idea of having a kid (especially when Lucy had first brought it up a little over a year earlier), Gajeel was more than excited about getting to meet their little hatchling. He'd almost jumped for joy when Bickslow had accidentally blurted out that it was a girl after seeing its soul earlier in the pregnancy; Lucy on the other hand had only cried, since she hadn't wanted to know what they were having.

But still, with little hatchling Andromeda still having two more months to go before she was ready to officially meet them, Gajeel took protecting her from anything harmful just as seriously as Lucy did – although if anything, Lucy was just being overprotecting. Gajeel wasn't going to say that to his wife's face though. Hell no.

It was just that they'd been planning on getting their house repainted ever since they'd moved in a year earlier, and they'd really just been putting it off because of how much time and effort it would take. Now though, they had professional painters coming in to get the job done for them, and that was what Gajeel thought was stupid. He was supposed to be doing it, damn it! Not paying some imbeciles to do it.

"I don't see why I can't just paint the damn place myself," he mumbled. Sure, it probably would've been more fun with Lucy doing it with him, but when they'd mentioned painting the house to Wendy a few weeks earlier, after Lucy had started getting on his back about making sure Andra's nursery was ready before she arrived, the younger dragon slayer had only said it would be wise for Lucy to just avoid the paint and the fumes as best she could. Gajeel could deal with painting the whole damn house by himself if it meant his precious baby dragon (and Lucy, of course) would remain perfectly healthy. He didn't mind taking extra precautions when it came to those two. "You could still go stay with Bix until it's all done and dry if you wanted," the dragon slayer added when his wife's arms wound around his head, and his own wrapped around her waist.

"Because, my darling dragon," Lucy began softly. "I don't want our daughter's room to painted in any kind of shade of black or grey."

"What's wrong with black?"

"Nothing is," she giggled. "I just don't think it's fitting for a baby girl." They'd only recently been able to agree upon all of the colours to paint everything, but the colour of the nursery had been the most difficult to decide on. Lucy had been so against painting it _steel grey_ that she was letting their own bedroom be painted that dark shade instead. For the most part, the entire house was going to be a neutral shade of grey, other than a wall in the dining room and another in their living room. But Andromeda's room… That was going to be a nice, bright _peach_ colour.

Of course, Gajeel hadn't really had a choice in the matter, if he had to be honest, and it wasn't like it mattered all that much anyway. All that was important was that Andra was happy and healthy. And let's face it, she was only going to be a baby; like she'd give a damn about the colour of her walls. Her entire world was going to revolve around sleeping, eating, crying, and proving that girls really could be disgusting creatures.

"Well, I still think it's stupid," Gajeel grumbled again. "Paying some morons to do a job I can do perfectly well myself. Fuckin' stupid." And it really didn't help that he didn't trust whoever was coming to paint their house as far as _Lucy_ could kick them. She wasn't going to be there to supervise them and neither was he. Total strangers would be left alone in their home, free to do as they pleased! Just the thought of someone going through his things – hell, his _wife's_ things – made his skin crawl.

Lucy sighed and continued to slowly stroke her fingers through her husband's reasonably tame mane (well, compared to three years earlier) as she softly said, "I know you do, Gaj. And since I know you're worried about the painters snooping through our stuff, I asked Bixy if I could borrow the babies to act as look-outs for when I'm not here checking up on them throughout the days." And considering how much the babies loved her, they were sure as hell going to make a racket if they caught the painters snooping where they didn't belong.

"…I suppose that's not too bad…"

"Good. Now, didn't you say you wanted to get the last train out tonight so you could sleep on the way to Matza Valley?"

Gajeel groaned into her stomach. "Not the T word…"

Lucy couldn't help but giggle. Unfortunately for her husband, his slayer-related motion sickness had only grown worse. Even the mention of any kind of transport was enough to make him a little nauseous, and as sorry as she felt for him, she still thought it was pretty funny. It had taken the guy a full year to even admit to her that he got motion sick when they'd first started dating, but Lucy had only let him get away with it to make him feel better about it. "Sorry, baby," she laughed, and then pulled herself away from her husband carefully, much to his disappointment. She pulled him up by his hands as she continued, "But come on, it's nearly six. You'll miss the _magical land-crosser_ if you don't leave soon."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Don't be a bitch, Bunny."

"Aw, but you love it when I'm a bitch to you," she pouted.

Well… That was something Gajeel couldn't really deny. He loved that she was sweet as all hell most of the time, but he also loved that she could be feisty when she wanted to be. She teased him and he liked it. "I suppose that's true…" he mumbled, and he couldn't help but wrap an arm as tightly as he could around his giggling wife as she pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. And of course, as much as Gajeel wished he could stay there all evening with Lucy and tease _her_ some, he couldn't, because he really did have a _magical land-crosser_ to go catch.

Thankfully, there was only a few more weeks left until he'd be able to take a long break from jobs to be with Lucy before Andra was born, and Gajeel couldn't wait for that time to arrive. He was almost as excited about finally being able to stop going on jobs than he was about his daughter being due soon – the latter was just that smidgen more exciting. All those tiring jobs to make sure they had _more_ than enough to pay for everything had really burnt him out.

With a sigh, Gajeel figured it was time to just get on with it. The sooner he left, the sooner he got to Matza Valley and the sooner he could get the stupid request taken care of. It wasn't even one he'd ordinarily take, but with their house being painted, Gajeel had was going to take the stupid job over staying with Bickslow and Cobra for a week. "Since you're so determined to get rid of me, I'll get out of your way," he grumbled.

"About time!" Lucy giggled.

He rolled his eyes at his wife before he sighed again and leant down to press a kiss to her temple. "Don't get into too much trouble with that idiot, alright?" he said, though really, part of Gajeel was expecting to return to Magnolia at the end of the week only to find the guild burnt to the ground and news of his wife and her weird, sort-of adopted brother being arrested for something stupid. It had happened before, and knowing Lucy and Bickslow just a little too well, he was sure it would happen again.

Lucy pouted. "Oh, come on. You're no fun. You used to be fun, Gaj."

"Yeah, well, one of us has to be a responsible parent for the hatchling."

"And that's why I love you, my _responsible_ dragon," she murmured. If someone had told her five years earlier that Gajeel would end up being the responsible one in their relationship, she probably would've thought they were lying. But now here they were, five years into their relationship with their first child on the way, and _she_ was the one being told to behave. Though really, Lucy wouldn't have had it any other way anyway. As far as she was concerned, her life was pretty damn perfect.

"Yeah, yeah. I know you do, Bunny." Sighing once more, Gajeel stepped back just enough to crouch down and kiss the top of Lucy's rounded belly, while rubbing the side with his hand. She hated it when he did that – just like she hated when he pat her on the head – and he heard her tired sigh and sensed the eye roll that came with it, but it only made him chuckle to himself. "Now, you too, kid. No misbehaving while I'm gone."

"Gajeel, her room isn't very big. I'm not sure how much misbehaving she'll be able to get into."

"The kid's a Heartfilia. You don't need a lot of room to get into trouble." Gajeel had come to know that all too well over the last few years…

"Well, that's true," she laughed. "Now come on, you better get going. You'll miss the t—"

Gajeel groaned and shuddered as he pulled himself up. "Don't say it… I'm going…" And with Lucy just giggling teasingly at him again, Gajeel grabbed his old rucksack and turned for the door with Lily trailing behind him.

* * *

The first night with Bickslow and Erik had been rather uneventful, not that anyone was complaining. It had been 'date night' for the two of them – a fortnightly event that Bickslow had eventually convinced Erik to agree to, assuming neither of them were away on a job at the time – so Lucy had spent most of her time in her own home, just cleaning up after dinner and making sure everything valuable had been stowed away in preparation for the painters. It wasn't until nearly midnight that Lucy left to go next door for the night, after Bickslow and Erik (somewhat intoxicated, too, which only meant Erik was a little more _chatty_ than usual) had come to retrieve her to help her carry her _one_ bag over (they'd insisted), and also to bring her ice-cream from the parlour they'd stopped in at on their way home from their date – a scoop of rainbow ice-cream with sprinkles and a chocolate wafer on the top for Bickslow, a triple scoop of plain vanilla and mint chocolate chip in the middle for Erik, and a double scoop of bubble-gum for Lucy. After that, they all just got ready for bed with Bickslow telling Lucy all about his date (and Erik complaining about the movie they'd gone to see, and the couple in the row in front of them that had been in each other's laps the entire movie), and then retired to their rooms for the night.

Come the next morning, Lucy woke up to the wonderful smell of bacon and sausage coming straight from the kitchen. After making a detour to the bathroom for the third time since midnight alone, she followed her nose right to the source of the delicious smell wafting from the kitchen, and wasn't at all surprised to see Bickslow busy stirring the scrambled eggs in the pot while one of his babies' souls infused in a spatula flipped the bacon and sausage in the pan next to him.

"Mmm, please tell me I get to eat some of whatever it is you're cooking right now…"

Bickslow spun around and showed off his contagiously bright grin. "Cosplayer! Of course!" He turned to take the eggs off the heat and place them on a heatproof mat. When he saw Lucy heading for the fridge then, he frowned, and gently pried her away from the refrigerator to close the door with his foot. "Hey, hey, hey… What are you doing?"

"I was just getting a drink!" Lucy grumbled. "Or at least I was _trying_ to."

"A drink? What would you like then?" Bickslow opened the fridge up again after getting Lucy out of the way and stared at all of the bottles that sat on the top shelf. "Orange juice? Apple juice? Grape juice? Wait, no. Erik'll bitch if you touch his grape juice..." he mumbled. "Uh… Water? Milk? Tea? Coffee?"

Lucy rolled her eyes as she returned to the far side of the counter to sit on stool at the end. "Orange juice is fine. I can get my own drinks, you know… I may be eight months pregnant but I'm not handicapped…" It was bad enough Gajeel was starting to make a point of doing everything for her – even the goddamn _dishes_ , not that she was going to complain, of course, because she'd only been trying to get him to do those for years – but now Bickslow was as well? She can pour herself a glass of juice, thank you very much!

"I know that, Cosplayer," Bickslow said gently. "But you're our guest for the week, and as your host, it is my responsibility to make sure each and every one of your needs are catered to." He paused as he placed the orange juice back in the fridge after filling up Lucy's glass, then added in afterthought, "Well, apart from sexually. Metalhead would probably kill me, and I value my life, contrary to popular belief."

The blonde merely rolled her eyes as one of Bickslow's totems edged her orange juice towards her on the counter. "Fine… But I really don't see why it's necessary," she said. "I've been getting my own drinks for years. Your house is basically my house, remember?" Of course, it went the opposite way as well, but still. Bickslow had always told her to just make herself at home whenever she pleased once they'd started spending time together, and she'd told Bickslow the exact same. They'd ended up having so many movie marathon sleepovers in all the years of their friendship that they'd given each other drawers and such to keep some belongings. Naturally, the amount of crap they kept at each other's houses grew smaller as the years went on and they each entered their respective relationships, but they'd still been perpetually welcome and each other's home. As far as Lucy was concerned though, there wasn't going to be a day where Bickslow wouldn't be allowed to treat her home as his own.

"I know that, but… Just indulge me this one time? Please?"

"If I must…" Lucy sighed. She wasn't going to ask why Bickslow was so set on her acting like a proper house guest all of a sudden, but she was going to roll with it anyway.

"Excellent!" Bickslow said happily. Hearing the toilet flush from down the hall, Bickslow grabbed a mug from one of the cabinets and filled it almost to the brim with the fresh coffee he'd brewed earlier and then added the sugar. Erik slowly trudged into the room not a moment later and went straight for the mug that Bickslow was holding out for him. "Morning, asshole," he greeted his grumpy husband, then quickly continued, "Hey, what do you think of me helping Lucy get off this week? You know, keep her from getting all stressed and stuff and becoming annoying."

"Yeah, whatever," the Poison Slayer grumbled. Honestly, he hadn't even heard the question. All he cared about was the coffee. He sniffed at the coffee as he brought it up, and didn't get a chance to ask if it had sugar in it before Bickslow's soul answered for him: _'Black with six sugar, just like your soul.'_ Erik could only roll his indigo eye before sipping at the hot drink. He probably would've told the guy to bite him, but he knew all too well that Bickslow's go-to response to that was somewhere along the lines of _'with pleasure.'_

Bickslow was dishing up everyone's breakfast by that point, and as Lucy nibbled happily on a hashbrown, Erik was making his way over to their dining table while carefully nursing his coffee in his palms. If it was one thing Cobra _wasn't_ , it was a morning person. It was why Bickslow hadn't been able to help but ask if the guy was okay with him messing around with Lucy for the week – not that it would ever happen, of course, but it was kind of fun to joke about sometimes. Still, Bickslow knew that his husband was probably going to be snarkier and grumpier than usual for the next few hours, and that was something he could deal with.

So, where he asked Lucy what she wanted to have for breakfast out of all he'd cooked that morning, he didn't bother asking Erik. He usually just had his coffee for breakfast, but when there was bacon, he always made himself a sandwich with it, and so that was what Bickslow made him.

He carried all three plates over to the table with the help of the babies, all of them now in their usual totem bodies, and set everything down in front of everyone. Had it just been himself and Cobra for breakfast, Bickslow would've been quiet content with sitting in silence, because he knew how Erik couldn't always deal with a lot of noise – mostly when he was tired or just really pissed off, or even just constantly in crowded and noisy places like the guild. But it wasn't just them, because Lucy was there as well, and regardless of the fact that Lucy had technically known Cobra the longest, there were so many things she didn't know about him. Because he was a private person by nature, and Bickslow had accepted them whole-heartedly. The fact that not even _he_ knew everything there was to know about his husband was something he would admit as well. There were things Erik didn't like talking about – namely his past with the tower and his involvement with the Oración Seis – and Bickslow understood that, just like Erik understood that there were things in Bickslow's past that he didn't like talking about either.

But still, the point was that Lucy wouldn't know that Erik really did just need his quiet time sometimes, because that wasn't something he made known; Bickslow hadn't even learned that too much noise could occasionally be troublesome for the Poison slayer until they'd been together for close to eighteen months. And, the last thing Bickslow wanted was for Lucy to be uncomfortable because of how quiet it was. As far as Bickslow could tell, it was the first time the three of them had ever had a meal together where Erik had been in one of his _moods_ , and despite being married to Erik, Bickslow knew it wasn't his place to fill Lucy in on what the guy was internally dealing with at that exact moment.

Cobra had explained to him once what it was like when any kind of sound got to be a bit too much for him, where Bickslow had found him in an old, rented cabin far away from the main town. He'd said that he could never really tune souls out, that they were always there and he could always hear them. Most of the time it was just a constant drone in his head, especially if Bickslow had his babies around (Erik had never really been able to hear them properly for some reason, though he supposed it was related to Bickslow's magic and his own ability to keep his soul silent when he wanted to do so). But unless he actively tried to listen to what a particular soul was resonating, all Erik heard was the constant buzzing and chattering of dozens of souls around him.

Bickslow watched the Poison slayer for another moment, seeing as he just silently took small bites of his sandwich or sipped at his coffee while keeping his eye closed – Erik was doing his best to drown everything out without actually leaving, which Bickslow had to give him credit for since Erik didn't usually do that – before he decided to break the silence as gently as he could. "So…" Bickslow began quietly, turning his attention to Lucy sitting on his other side. "Did you have anything in particular planned for day?"

"Not really," Lucy answered. She hadn't even noticed how Bickslow had slowly been leading the babies away after helping carry everything over to the table, one by one – not even with Pappa who had hovering by her shoulder as he usually did. But Erik noticed. "I have to meet the painters at nine to let them in, and then I was probably just going to supervise them for a little, and then maybe head over to this little yoga place on Pomegranate Street."

"Oh, it's on Pomegranate Street? I think know that place."

"You do?"

Bickslow nodded, shovelling a mouthful of fried tomato and scrambled eggs into his mouth. "Laxus said something about going there with Erza for a couple's class when she was pregnant with Savannah," he answered. He chewed and swallowed the food before quietly adding, "Plus… Cobe occasionally visits the apothecary next to the yoga studio."

Lucy looked to the still silent Dragon Slayer opposite her. "Really? I didn't even know Magnolia had an apothecary, to be honest…" Then again, she'd never had much of a reason to visit one either – she tended to get everything she needed from either Wendy (or Porlyusica if she was desperate enough) – so it made sense to Lucy for her to not have noticed the place at all.

Erik merely gave a small ' _yup'_ before silently excusing himself from the table with the rest of his sandwich, and Lucy couldn't help but turn back to her friend while silently wondering if she'd done or said something wrong.

Of course, Bickslow knew what Lucy was thinking, but he shook his head. "Don't worry 'bout it," he mumbled. "He's just not a morning person. It's not you." And after that, they went back to planning their day.

* * *

When Bickslow heard the front door being unlocked and saw Cobra walking through just a few moments later, he couldn't keep the grin off his face from where he sat on his living room floor, right in front of Lucy on the edge of the lounge. "Erik, Erik!" Bickslow said excitedly, waving his slightly confused husband over. "Hey, come here for a second!"

Lucy only smiled politely to her host as he cautiously approached them, pocketing his keys and raising an eyebrow at the weirdos in his living room. "Hi Cobra," she said softly. "How was your day?" He'd ended up going out not long after breakfast and they hadn't seen him since. Bickslow hadn't found it unusual, even if Erik had just up and left without saying a word, but Lucy hadn't been able to help but worry.

"Fine," the Dragon Slayer mumbled. It wasn't like he'd been doing anything anyway. He'd just gone to his quiet place like he usually did, and he usually just slept when he was there so it was never something worth sharing. Of course, Erik still had a dull, throbbing, and persistent ache in his head that had unsurprisingly grown slightly since walking back into his house, but it was bearable.

Anyway, as accustomed Erik was to seeing the Seith mage sitting on the floor (or any other place that wasn't typically used as a seat… like the kitchen counters, for example), Erik was _not,_ however, used to seeing his husband treating their neighbour like a pillow. Lucy didn't seem to mind Bickslow's head on her round tummy nor his hands shifting on the side every now and then, but Erik didn't even get a chance to ask just what the _fuck_ Bickslow was doing before the man in question asked, "Do you think you can hear a baby's soul before they're born?"

"Do you think I can… _Huh_?"

Bickslow rolled his eyes as he reached up with his right hand to grab Erik's wrist and tug him down to the ground. He sat up slightly just to give Erik more room, and was still grinning as he continued, "You know, like how your Sound magic lets you hear souls and stuff – well, most of them, at least. Do you think it works with babies while they're still in the womb?"

Erik just stared at his husband for a second, trying to figure out if he was actually serious about it. Of course, he'd had a hard time hearing Bickslow's own soul at the best of times, so Erik didn't bother trying to swim through the static that was the Seith mage's soul just to find his answer. Because honestly, he didn't _need_ to. Just that ridiculously innocent look on his face and that stupid grin were enough for Erik to know that Bickslow was very much serious.

And honestly, Erik would be lying if he said he knew the answer, because he really had no clue if his magic allowed him to hear an unborn child's soul. It wasn't something that had ever crossed his mind, either… Although then again, it wasn't like Erik had ever known his fair share of pregnant women, either. Lucy was really the first one he'd ever been _somewhat_ close to.

Shrugging, Erik only mumbled, "How the fuck should I know?"

"Well, why don't you find out then?" Bickslow suggested, still with a wide grin in place. And of course, he could see how hesitant Erik was to do it – and Bickslow really wasn't at all surprised. But, Bickslow had always found the fact that their magics were both to do with souls (well, sort of) rather endearing. When he'd been able to see little Andra's soul for the first time, months earlier when she'd still only been a tiny little thing inside Lucy, all Bickslow had wanted to do was sit there staring at it for the rest of the day, just watching the faint tendrils of soul energy transfer and flare between Lucy's and her daughter's soul. And Bickslow just wanted to share that excitement with his husband, because to him, it was amazing.

Admittedly though, Bickslow had briefly forgotten about Erik not feeling the greatest that day, so he didn't think that his aversion to trying to hear Andra's soul was because of that. But then again, just how noisy could an unborn baby's soul be? Bickslow was sure Erik would've mentioned something about hearing it (from a distance, at least, not so much from his head being on Lucy's belly) by then if he'd heard it, because on more than one occasion, he'd complained about Lucy's soul never shutting up – Bickslow had never passed that message on, of course.

Regardless though, where Bickslow could see how hesitant Erik was, Erik could also see how excited Bickslow was. And by _god_ could the man be persuasive when he wanted to be. And as far as the small things went, Bickslow was still the only person (well, maybe Macbeth, too) that Erik would _almost_ go out of his way for just to make happy.

So… Rolling his eye and muttering a _'fine'_ under his breath, Erik got comfortable on his knees and then cautiously lowered his right ear towards Lucy's belly after she gave him a small nod to go ahead. He could feel Bickslow watching him, _waiting_ , so Erik just tried his best to focus his Sound magic in that one ear pressed against the woman's soft abdomen.

"Gajeel says he can hear her heartbeat," Lucy said softly.

"Yeah," Erik mumbled. That was the first thing he'd been able to hear, and that had been _without_ focusing. It wasn't as strong as Lucy's own heartbeat that Erik could hear as well, although it was almost twice as fast. For a moment though, Erik almost thought it was relaxing. Just the steady _ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump_ of the two hearts, somehow in sync with each other, seemed to almost make Erik just want to close his eye and get some sleep.

 _Is Cobra's hair usually this soft? And it tickles! Oh my god… It's just so **soft** though… I want to run my hands through it all the time! I wonder if Bix holds the back of Cobra's head when he's—_

Erik sat up abruptly just to glare at the woman. "Can you stop fucking thinking about my hair and what Bix does with his hands when I'm sucking him off? Jesus Christ, woman…" And people thought his _husband_ was the perverted one. Lucy sure gave Bickslow a run for his money sometimes.

Bickslow couldn't help but laugh when Lucy only smiled innocently and shrugged. He assumed it had come from Lucy noticing how soft Erik's hair was, and, well… Bickslow couldn't blame her for thinking it. The man the softest damn hair known to man somehow, and Bickslow sure as hell did like running his fingers through it sometimes… Assuming they weren't chained behind his back or to the bed, that is. And when Erik just shook his head before dropping his ear back down to Lucy's belly, Bickslow stealthily moved his arm up above his husband's head to mimic stroking his hair.

And at that point, Lucy burst into a fit of giggles and Erik was rounding on his husband so fast that Bickslow lucky to scramble to safety just a few feet away. "I swear to god you two are the definition of trouble," the Poison slayer muttered under his breath.

Once everyone had calmed down again, Erik returned to Lucy's side for the final time. Instantly, he heard the quick heartbeat of baby Andromeda, and Lucy's slower and stronger one over the top of it. Lucy was trying her best to keep her mind clear, lest she distract him again, although it didn't work as well as she thought it did since Erik could still see what her mind and soul were picturing – an alpine range, apparently. But that was easy enough to tune out to, and when Erik did, he began to hear a gentle, modulating hum. It wasn't Bickslow's babies – he knew what they sounded like – and it wasn't Bickslow either.

Bickslow watched closely as Erik's brow furrowed. "Cobra?"

"Shut up," Erik snapped. He could hear _something_ from what he only assumed to be Lucy's baby, except he couldn't understand it. He'd never had that happen before then either. And when he tried focusing on it even harder, so hard that his head began to pound and ache from the echo of that one gentle hum resonating within it, Erik finally gave up and lifted his head with a sigh. "I can hear… _something_ ," he admitted to the two mages looking up at him expectedly. "It's her soul, I know that much. There's just not really anything to actually hear though, I suppose." He'd never liked explaining just what he could hear to people who didn't understand his magic, simply because they were never able to understand what he told them. But even with people who did understand it – at least to an extent, like Bickslow – it was still damn confusing.

Even Erik got confused with his own magic sometimes. But it was the kind of magic he'd had a choice in learning. He'd been stuck with Sound magic since the day he'd been born.

Lucy shrugged as she rolled her shirt back down over her round stomach. "Well, it was worth a shot." She supposed Cobra would have better luck hearing Andra's soul once she'd been born. "Thanks for trying, though."

Erik merely grunted in response before taking the first opportunity he could to leave and go straight back to bed. Bickslow picked himself up from the ground as soon as Erik had disappeared into the next room. "I'll be back in a minute," Bickslow said as he collected the two empty plates on the coffee table and then journeyed the same path his husband had just taken.

The Poison slayer was hanging his coat up in the wardrobe when Bickslow walked in. Erik merely glanced his husband's direction before continuing to remove the bulk of his layers.

"So… Are you feeling better now?" Bickslow asked as he leant against the door and pushed it until it was closed, just until he heard the first click.

"Mostly, yeah," Erik answered. "Head still fucking hurts like hell, though."

"Do you want me to get you a warm towel?"

Erik shook his head. Had it been worse, then he would've gratefully taken a warm towel from his husband, just to put it around the back of his neck and get some rest – it usually helped, at least a little bit. But it was bearable right then, so Erik didn't think he needed it. "Nah, I'll be fine," he mumbled. "I think I'll just try and sleep or something for a little while."

Nodding, Bickslow turned to open the door once more just to give Erik some peace. Bickslow had expected Erik to just go straight to bed, so he was more than fine with just trying to keep the noise level down for the rest of the afternoon. He was used to it, if anything, and Bickslow didn't think Lucy would have any objections to staying a little more quiet than usual.

But then Bickslow remembered what he'd been waiting all day to talk to his husband about. "Oh yeah!"

The Sound mage looked up with an eyebrow raised, silently wondering just what it was that had Bickslow grinning like the idiot he was at heart.

"We walked past the pet store today," Bickslow said. "And they had all these ducklings there! And all these kittens and puppies!"

"Ducklings. And kittens. And puppies," Erik mumbled.

Bickslow nodded quickly. "They were so damn cute, too!" He had a soft spot for soft animals. They were cute. He liked them. "But, it got me thinking…" he continued, coming to sit on the end of the bed with one leg folded under him and his other foot on the floor. "We should get a pet."

"Uh, no."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want a fuckin' pet," the Slayer grumbled as he threw the duvet back with a huff and sat down on the bed. Honestly, he didn't mind animals that much, but he just didn't want to deal with having a pet. Mostly because the only pet he'd ever had had turned out to be a _woman_ named Kinana, and partly because his favourite animals were snakes and he knew how much Bickslow hated them. He just didn't want a pet.

Bickslow, though, couldn't just simply say 'okay' to that and walk away. And there was not a single trace of a smile on his face he stood up and turned back for the door. "Right. Of course not," he muttered. "Should've guessed, really. You don't want to be responsible for another _human_ ; why would you want to be responsible for an _animal_? Typical."

Erik groaned and rolled his eye. _Here we go…_ It always came back to kids with Bickslow. He just couldn't help himself. And sometimes, it just really fucking pissed Cobra off.

He certainly wasn't going to be getting any sleep there though, so he pulled himself out of bed and grabbed his boots from where he'd left them to begin pulling them on hastily. "Fuck sake, Bix. Why is everything about kids with you?!" he muttered. "Why can't you just fucking drop it already."

Bickslow spun back around. "Drop it? You want me to _drop it_?" His voice was still calm, considering how pissed he was at his husband. But Erik knew better than anyone that it took a lot for him raise his voice. "I'll drop it when you decide to actually give me a _reason_ for not wanting kids." Because every single time they had talked about it in the few years they'd actually been together, all Cobra had said was that he just didn't want them. And Bickslow just couldn't accept that, no matter how much he wished he could.

"I'm not having this conversation right now."

Bickslow watched as Erik grabbed his jacket and pulled his 'escape' bag from the top shelf of the wardrobe. Bickslow hated that the bag even existed, but Cobra couldn't bring himself to not have it there, just in case. It had become his safety blanket, just having something there that he could pick up and take whenever he needed to just get out for a few days. It had clothes, a blanket, the necessities. And right then, that was what Erik needed.

"Nothing new there," Bickslow mumbled. "But go ahead. Run off. Like I care anymore."

"Go to hell, asshole," Erik growled.

"You forgot I'm already there!"

Lucy watched as Cobra stormed back down the hall with his bag and then slammed the front door behind him, then looked back up just as Bickslow came back out. "Is everything okay?" she asked cautiously.

"Fucking _peachy_."

She shifted uncomfortable on the sofa – or as much as she could being as pregnant as she was – and looked down to her hands on her belly, pointing them together nervously. "If… If I'm causing problems, I can go…" she murmured. She'd only been there for one day, for heaven's sake, and already, she was making her best friend argue with his husband. She couldn't bear to think what a week of her staying there would do to them…

Of course, though, Lucy had absolutely no idea what they'd been arguing about. But she still had a feeling that she had something to do with it. She'd noticed how tense Cobra had been around her – that morning, at least – so she really couldn't help but assume that she'd been the one to make him so uncomfortable.

Bickslow, however, thought otherwise. It wasn't Lucy's fault. It could never be Lucy's fault. He spun back around and stepped over the coffee table just to crouch down in front of her, and then took her face between his hands to kiss the top of her head. "You're not causing problems, Cosplayer. I promise," he said softly. "You don't have to go anywhere."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Admittedly, just hearing that relieved her, even if she knew Bickslow wouldn't have told her if she _was_ causing problems anyway. But Lucy still worried about them – their _relationship_ – because she knew how happy they made each other and she never wanted to see them apart, and she certainly never wanted to be one of the reasons they went separate ways. "Well, um… Do you want to talk about it then?" she asked.

Bickslow shook his head. "Not really." Talking about it was the last thing he wanted to do. Partly because he didn't like sharing all that much about what went on between himself and Erik (he was a public person, sure, but his marriage wasn't), and partly because explaining to the pregnant woman who was his best friend that he'd been arguing with his husband about having kids since before they'd even gotten married, just seemed like a really fucking terrible idea. Plus, it was Lucy. And Lucy liked fixing things. And If she knew that they were so divided on having children, then Lucy would no doubt try talking to Erik about it, and that would just make things _so. Much. Worse._

Bickslow didn't want that.

He just wanted to move the fuck on from it and forget about it – well, until Erik decided he was ready to give some other bullshit reason that _wasn't_ _'just because.'_

So, no, Bickslow didn't want to talk about it with Lucy. He did, however, want her to distract him. Somehow. Some way. He didn't care how. "But hey," he began, forcing a grin as he collapsed down onto the sofa next to her. "You know what we haven't done for a while?"

"Get drunk together?"

"Well, yes." They couldn't do that for a while yet, though. "But, we haven't played _Guess Who?_ for a while."

"Huh, so we haven't…" Lucy murmured. In the years she'd been friends with Bickslow, she'd learned that the guy liked his board games. Of course, he'd turned her onto them over the years as well, so it had become part of their sleepover tradition to play at least _three_ different games each night. _Guess Who?_ though… Well, that, they happened to be pretty damn good at. Especially because they'd made a guild version and used faces of their guild mates instead.

Second on the list of games they'd played was _Twister_ – but, naturally, they'd stopped playing that somewhere around the time Lucy had stopped being able to see her feet. And third, was _Monopoly_. That always ended in disaster, but it was always fun nonetheless.

Still though, Lucy knew that there was a reason for Bickslow changing the subject so suddenly, and she knew exactly what that reason was. Was she going to say anything about it though? Hell no. Lucy knew better than that, and… If Bickslow didn't want to talk about what he and Cobra had been fighting about, then that was okay.

If Bickslow wanted to play silly board games with her to distract himself, then they'd play silly board games. Lucy _loved_ silly, anyway.

Except, they weren't going to get anything started if Bickslow didn't get off his ass to get the game (because she sure as hell wasn't going to. Getting up was hard, thank you very much). So, Lucy nudged her brother's arm impatiently and pointed to the cupboard under the lacrima-vision where he kept all of his favourite games. "Well, hurry up and get it out then. I wanna play now."

* * *

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on who you asked), every time Lucy had had a random food craving, the kind of ones that popped up randomly and didn't leave her alone until she sated them, she'd been with Bickslow. It was never Gajeel – he got all the _normal_ cravings that had been bothering her throughout her entire pregnancy, like tacos, or rosé (which she'd proceeded to cry over not being able to have for a good hour in the middle of the morning).

But Bickslow though… Bickslow got all the _weird_ ones.

Like grilled cheese and mayo sandwiches. Or breakfast burritos at four in the afternoon, covered in chocolate-hazelnut spread and rainbow sprinkles. Or, Bickslow's personal favourite of them all: _dirt_. Because it apparently looked like fucking crushed chocolate biscuits, and she'd supposedly really wanted chocolate biscuits, too.

Thankfully though, Bickslow had managed to stop the woman from eating actual dirt, and had even sent her back home to her husband with an actual sticky-note on her forehead that said: _'DO NOT LET ME NEAR THE GARDEN.'_ It was safe to say Erik had told Bickslow every time he heard Gajeel shouting at Lucy to get away from the pot plants and to not put that handful of dirt in her mouth. It hadn't been the greatest week for poor Lucy…

Still, it was two in the morning. It was the fourth night at Bickslow's house, with Cobra having gone off god knows where (Bickslow said he knew exactly where he was, and he did), and Lucy just couldn't bring herself to get any sleep.

Because she had a craving. A craving that she'd been trying to ignore all day. A craving that had her wanting to devour an entire fridge full of coleslaw and nothing else. And she didn't even like coleslaw all that much. But right then… That was all she wanted.

With great effort, she untangled herself from the body pillow she'd brought over from her own house, and rolled onto her back. Then, with even more effort, it was onto her other side, so she was facing Bickslow. They were in his bed (or the one he usually shared with Cobra, naturally), but that wasn't all that out of the ordinary. They'd always slept together during their sleepovers, not because anything happened (they'd been down that curious and awkward road before… Never again), but because they liked cuddling. They were cuddlers. And, well… Lucy had just gotten so used to sleeping next to someone most nights, between Natsu breaking in, the sleepovers with Bickslow, and then moving in with Gajeel, that she couldn't really sleep by herself sometimes.

They hadn't actually gone to bed all that long ago though, having been marathoning all of the _Toy Story_ movies (the babies liked it more than Bickslow did), so Lucy knew that Bickslow was still actually awake. And he confirmed that by groaning into the pillow, "Are you done moving around yet?"

She was done. For now. But she wasn't going to say that. Instead, she only poked the back of his shoulder, the one that was connected to his arm curled under the pillow that his head was pressed against, and asked, "Bixy. Do you have any cabbage in the fridge?"

"I don't know."

 _Hmm_ … "What about carrot?"

"Cosplayer, I wouldn't have a fucking clue," he sighed. Damn it, why couldn't he just sleep?!

"An onion, then?"

"…Please don't tell me you're gonna be weird and try and eat an onion like an apple."

Lucy made a disgusted face in the dark. "Ew, no. I want to make a coleslaw."

 _Alright. Definitely not getting any sleep yet._ Groaning, Bickslow turned himself over and flopped himself back down so he was face-to-face with Lucy. He had two of the babies wake up and switch the lamp behind Lucy on, and Bickslow tiredly rubbed his eyes and winced in the light. "A coleslaw," he mumbled. "You want to make a coleslaw. In the middle of the night."

Lucy nodded, smiling innocently as always. "Yes. Precisely."

"Why is it always _me_ who gets the weird midnight cravings?" Bickslow muttered as he rolled himself back over to pull himself out of bed. He wasn't going to argue with a pregnant woman in the middle of the night. No way. And, he knew for certain that it was a craving, because no _non-pregnant_ person just randomly craved coleslaw in the middle of the night. "Why doesn't Gajeel get any of this crap?"

"Because Andra likes to annoy you more than she does her daddy," Lucy giggled. Honestly, she suspected it was something along those lines anyway – well, maybe not _exactly_. But Lucy did have to admit she found it more than a little amusing that Bickslow had to deal with all her _weird_ cravings. Uncle Bixy couldn't say no to Lucy, just like Grumpy Dragon Daddy Gajeel couldn't. And Lucy was completely convinced that baby Andromeda had figured the two of them out already, without being born yet.

Well, maybe.

She was happy and excited enough that she managed to bounce all the way out to the kitchen, following behind the moping Seith mage, and with the babies twirling around them both.

"You know, Cobra really fucking hates coleslaw," Bickslow said as he opened up the cupboards and began grabbing out mixing bowls and chopping boards. The kitchen had been tidied after dinner… Although with Lucy wanting to make coleslaw, Bickslow was damn sure it wouldn't be staying tidy for long.

Lucy raided the fridge for all the ingredients she needed, picking out the jar of sweet pickles to snack on first (those she'd loved _before_ being pregnant). "Does he? How can he hate coleslaw?" she wondered. She went through her ingredient list in her head as she raided his fridge: _cabbage, check. Carrots… Hmm, still good, check. Mayo… Where's the—oh! There it is! Check. And… mustard!_

Bickslow frowned as Lucy kicked the fridge closed and dropped the armfuls of food she'd been holding down onto the middle of the bench, before she turned to retrieve the pickles again and fish out another one. "I don't know," he said. "But he really fucking hates it. So… I mean, you can make as much coleslaw as you want, but I'd suggest not having any in the fridge for when he gets back."

"Oh, don't worry. It's not going to last long," Lucy laughed as she grabbed the last of the ingredients – an onion from the pantry and a lemon from the glass bowl – and added them to the bench. As soon as it was ready, she was going to grab a fork and eat the whole damn lot. Cobra would be none-the-wiser to there ever being coleslaw in his house. But… That did make Lucy wonder… "Do you know when he'll be back though?" she asked cautiously.

"I, uh… I don't know," Bickslow mumbled. The room quickly fell silent until Bickslow made a point of reaching for the onion and then a knife from the drawer to begin peeling it and slicing it thinly.

Honestly though, he had no idea when Erik would be back. He usually only left for a night or two when they did fight – and usually came back smelling of smoke – but Bickslow had expected him to be back by then. And it made him feel terrible. He knew that it was his fault. He'd pushed the subject he knew damn well Erik didn't want to talk about, and… And things had gotten out of hand like they usually did.

Bickslow knew he'd jumped to conclusions though, and he regretted what he'd said. Big time. Pets… Children… They weren't the same. Bickslow knew that. And he knew he'd absolutely no grounds for reacting the way he had. And Erik, he had _every_ right to be pissed at him.

Still… Bickslow had no idea when Erik would be back. And the longer he was gone – even if it had only been a few days – the more Bickslow worried that he'd actually pushed him too far, once and for all. He just wanted to fucking _apologise_ to the guy. But he couldn't do that.

Lucy suddenly wrapped her arms around his middle as best she could from where she stood beside him, forcing her head under his arm and making him stop slicing up the onion. His brow furrowed as he looked down at her, but he didn't get the opportunity to ask what Lucy was up to before she said, "You seemed like you needed a hug."

Bickslow couldn't help but chuckle quietly. "Thanks, Cosplayer." He wouldn't deny that he did kinda need one, and he could never turn down a hug from his best friend anyway. Bickslow was just thankful that Lucy knew him well enough to know not to pry any more than she already had – though not always intentionally, either. "Now, how much of this onion do you need?"

* * *

The next afternoon, Bickslow returned home after running some of his own errands that Lucy hadn't wanted to tag along to, to find said woman greeting him with a guilty smile and the babies all giggling mischievously around her head (they'd opted to stay with her after they'd left the guild at noon). He eyed her curiously as he locked the door behind himself before heading to the kitchen to put away the few groceries he'd picked up when he'd been out.

"Okay… Is there a reason you look guilty as all hell right now?" he asked cautiously, still glancing in her direction between unpacking the paper bags. "What did you break?"

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't break anything, thank you," she grumbled. Or at least she didn't think she had… Other than a possible world record for the amount of coleslaw made in one afternoon – which did, unfortunately, explain why she looked so guilty.

"Then…"

Lucy chewed on her lip nervously as she stepped backwards until her back hit the fridge door. "Just… Okay, first of all," she began, meeting the smirking Seith mage and ignoring the embarrassed blush on her cheeks. "I didn't mean to make so much of it, but… When I got back, I realised that I'd bought _way_ too much, and I didn't want to just waste all of it…"

He raised an eyebrow at the woman. "Make so much of _what_?"

With a grimace, Lucy stepped out of the way to open up the fridge and let Bickslow look inside. "Coleslaw," she admittedly shamefully.

Bickslow couldn't help but burst out laughing, almost doubling over when he saw all of the plastic containers and plastic-wrap-covered bowls full of fucking _coleslaw_. There had to be at least three containers or bowls of the salad on every single shelf, even some tucked into the shelves on the door. "I take it we'll be having coleslaw for dinner then?" he snickered. He even had to wipe the tear from his eye as Lucy pouted and shut the fridge.

He had absolutely no idea how Lucy could've bought that much extra to make so much. But he wasn't even going to question it.

* * *

Bickslow folded his book down on his chest when he heard the front door being closed, followed by the slow and heavy footsteps that grew louder and closer. He knew who it was before Erik even stuck his head through the gap in the door before gently pushing it open, but as soon as Bickslow actually saw him, he just felt so fucking relieved that he probably would've jumped out of bed to wrap his arms around the guy as tight as he possibly could, had he not had Lucy curled up on his left with her head tucked under his other arm.

The room was silent, and no one bothered breaking it as Erik dropped his bag back down by the foot of the bed before walking around the side to lay himself down on Bickslow's left as gently as he could. He had no idea if Lucy was even asleep, but he honestly didn't care to find out either way. He'd spent the better part of the last two days alone trying to figure out what it was he would say to Bickslow once he'd bothered going home, but now… Part of Erik just wanted to lay there with his husband for a little while and not saying anything at all, because apologising really wasn't his strong suit. Neither was talking in general, for that matter.

Bickslow knew that, though. Which was why he left it for a few moments, only shifting enough to gently kiss the top of his maroon head without disturbing Lucy. It was the lingering smell of smoke that had Bickslow breaking the silence though, and he reached up to set his book on the shelf at the top of headboard before holding his hand out to Erik and saying, "Hand them over."

Erik knew better than to argue. And with a nod, he reached into the pocket of his white coat and then pressed the nearly-empty pack of cigarettes into Bickslow's palm. It was the only form of poison he loathed putting into his body, and it was a habit he hated himself just as much as Bickslow did – if not _more_ so – but sometimes… Sometimes he needed it.

He let out a heavy sigh as Bickslow set the cigarettes onto the headboard behind them. Now came the talking part. He still just had no idea what he was supposed to say. "I'm… I'm sorry for leaving," he whispered while looking anywhere but Bickslow's eyes – he settled on the steel band he wore on his left hand, the one that matched Erik's own. "I really am…" _Running away_ , as Bickslow had put it many times before, wasn't exactly something Erik was proud of doing so often.

"Don't be," Bickslow replied. "I'm the one who should be saying sorry. I said some really fucking shitty things."

He gave a weak smirk, just a twitch of the lips as he lifted his eye up to meet Bickslow's momentarily. "We both did, I guess…"

"Are you still pissed at me for bringing it up again though?"

Erik shrugged. Most of the time, the only reason Erik ever got mad when Bickslow brought up having kids, was because he knew just how much Bickslow wanted them – yet he was the one that was always saying no and keeping him from having that one thing he wanted the most. But whenever Bickslow brought it up, what bothered Erik the most, was that annoying voice in the back of his head that told him time and time again, that eventually, Bickslow would decide he wanted a family more than he wanted him, and _he'd_ be the one to leave.

And frankly, that scared the living shit out of Erik.

But not once had he ever told Bickslow just why it was he was so against having kids one day, and not once had he ever told Bickslow that the reason he didn't want to explain all of that was because in his mind, it would just give Bickslow more reasons to leave and get what he actually wanted. He hadn't told Bickslow that he was so damn scared of losing him, that sometimes, he laid awake in the middle night actually _contemplating_ letting Bickslow have what he wanted, no matter how much it all terrified him.

The only thing that had stopped him from going further than that was the fact that Erik was trying _not_ to be the shitty person he'd always thought he was. And he didn't want to be the shitty person that ended up being the worst fucking parent in the entire world, just because he'd wanted to make his husband happy.

"I'm not pissed at you," Erik answered with a tired sigh. He was just scared. But he was just scared enough of losing Bickslow that he was beginning to wonder if talking about it all, once and for all, would actually do some good.

"Good. I'm really sorry, Cobe. Maybe just… Just forget everything I said the other day."

"Deal." That, Erik could work with. For the most part. Lifting his head slightly, he sighed in contentment and closed his eye once his forehead came to rest against Bickslow's and he felt their noses just barely touching. He really had come to love having a home… It was a nice feeling. "You're still a fuckin' asshole, though," he whispered. That much wasn't going to change though.

Bickslow couldn't help but laugh quietly, an almost breathless chuckle as he tried to wrap his free arm around the other. "Yeah, but you love me, so I'm fine."

And that, Erik couldn't deny.

He peeked his eye open just to sneak a glance at Lucy on Bickslow's other side then. As far as he could tell, she really was asleep, and… Well, it was Lucy, after all. She was one of the few people he could tolerate being around (and he'd reluctantly come to see her as part of his own weird, fucked up family), so he didn't bother waiting any longer before moving his head forward just enough to finally press his lips to his husband's.

"Keep it kid-friendly, you two. I don't want to have to move," Lucy mumbled tiredly.

That time, it was Erik who laughed, after he pulled back far too soon from the tender kiss. He should've known, really.

"Hey, uh… Erik?"

He opened his eye again to turn his attention back to Bickslow, just to see an almost guilty smirk on his lips.

"Do me a favour and _don't_ open the fridge," the Seith mage requested. It was still full of coleslaw, and sure, part of him did want to see what Erik's face would be like when he opened the fridge to find his most hated food on the entire planet (honestly, he had no idea why, either).

But, well… Things were good again, at least right that second, and Bickslow didn't want to ruin that just yet. Pranks could wait.

* * *

 _Fun fact: I occasionally call Bix/Cobra 'Coleslaw' instead. Don't ask. It's weird. And, in case anyone was wondering, the entire 'coleslaw' incident thing started from a totally chaotic conversation I had ages ago, and then this chapter was born. (Yes, this chapter was planned like a year ago.)_


	7. Cobra the Baby Whisperer

_I wasn't planning on updating this for a while, but, it was kind of a request (sort of), so I put my energy into this for a little while. Unsurprisingly, it's not proofed, or edited, or anything. Mostly because I'm too lazy, and partly because I just really want to get this out so I can get onto the next story._

 _I'll have a longer section of notes at the end of this one, ones that aren't related to this story/series as a whole. Whether you read them or not is up to you, but as always, I mostly put A/Ns in my stories for a reason._

* * *

 **Cobra the Baby Whisperer**

* * *

The arrival of one Andromeda "Andra" Redfox came without any problems, not unless you count the fact that she decided to make her grand entrance to the world at 4:37 a.m. after making everyone wait around at the hospital for close to twelve hours a problem.

Still, it wasn't like anyone had minded waiting much. Although if anything, Lucy was really the only one who had been even remotely close to patient. Gajeel had been borderline harassing the nurses and the doctor who'd gone to check up on her every thirty minutes. At one point he'd even had to be escorted out of the room because he'd started gnawing on one of the chair legs out of sheer nervousness. In the waiting room, Bickslow had been almost bouncing around, partly from excitement and partly from way too much caffeine (he'd really wanted to be in the room with Lucy, and so had she, but alas, the hospital hadn't allowed it). And Erik… Well, Erik had just been doing his best to get his husband to just sit the fuck down for more than five seconds. Internally though, he'd been getting just a little antsy. He hadn't cared to admit it to anyone, but he'd been just a little excited about getting to actually meet Andra.

But then, at 4:37 a.m., after a labour and delivery that hadn't been as bad as Lucy had thought, Andra had finally been born. It was cuddle time with the parents first, and then finally, Bickslow and Erik had been allowed in, and Bickslow had gotten to hold his niece and godchild for the first time. It had been a great way to start the day. Even Erik had had to agree when literally every person in the room (including the nurse) had convinced him to hold Andra himself as well.

The first weeks was just one massive learning curve for Gajeel and Lucy. They'd spend weeks and months making sure they would be prepared for life at home with a baby, but it had taken them all of three days to realise that it just hadn't mattered all that much. The dozens of books that Lucy had read, and all of the parenting classes they'd been to had helped to some extent. But they'd realised, at the end of the day, each baby was different. Parenting wasn't about following a step-by-step instruction manual. It was about making mistakes and learning as you went. It was about figuring what made _your_ kid smile and be happy, and as it turned out, it didn't take much to make Andra laugh. Most of the time, it was pulling on her father's hair. Gajeel made funny faces when he was trying not to swear.

Still, there came a week where Andra was nearly three months old, that no matter what Lucy or Gajeel did, she just would not stop crying. The only time she wasn't crying was when Lucy was feeding her, although it was usually Lucy doing the crying at that time anyway. Andra cried for almost three days straight, mostly during the night. At first, they'd thought it had been because she'd had a slight fever, and had even taken her to see a doctor. The doctor hadn't been particularly worried about it (unlike Gajeel, who had threatened to stick a thermometer up _his_ ass, he'd been so convinced that there was something wrong with his daughter), and he hadn't wanted to send her home with anything to relieve the pain either, so they'd only gone with him with the knowledge that it'd be a long night. Andra had miraculously slept for a little bit that first night, but come the next day, she was back to screaming and the new parents were back to coming close to ripping out their hair.

Unfortunately, Gajeel and Lucy weren't the only ones who were losing their damn minds over it. Erik had been, too. The entire time that he'd been living next door to them, he'd tolerated it, simply because they weren't overly noisy people, and also because Bickslow really loved being so close to Lucy and Erik just really loved keeping his husband happy (he was a brat when he wasn't). When Andra had come home, and he'd been woken up in the middle night occasionally just from hearing her cry in the middle of the night, he'd tolerated that as well, simply because he'd expected it to happen. But when he had to endure two straight nights of Andra fucking screaming, Erik was, for the first time, wishing he lived somewhere else.

Bickslow was lucky. He couldn't hear it. He got to sleep peacefully through the night and wake up refreshed in the morning like a normal person should. But Erik couldn't. Oh no. His ears were far too sensitive for that.

Still, even if Erik would readily admit that he wasn't that fond of children in the slightest – something that his husband did, unfortunately, know all too well – Erik still knew that babies weren't supposed to cry for nearly three fucking days straight. Something was clearly wrong with the child.

So, after listening to the honestly depressing cry of his neighbour's three month old daughter for the second night in a row, Erik decided he'd had enough. It was a little past three in the morning when he pulled himself out of bed, leaving Bickslow snoring in the bed on his own before he rolled over and took over Erik's side as soon as he was gone. He only shook his head as he quietly went about finding a pair of pants and a new shirt, careful not to disturb the bed hog that was his husband.

Gajeel and Lucy had given them a key to their house just after they'd moved in, and although Bickslow used it whenever he wanted to (not that Lucy or Gajeel even seemed to care much), Erik only used it when he felt it was necessary. And right then, he felt it was necessary to let himself into his neighbour's house, still kind of in his pyjamas and with his hair poking out in all sorts of directions.

They didn't notice him at first. Lucy was too busy walking around in circled, singing softly to Andra in her arms, while Gajeel sat on the floor in front of the lounge with his knees brought up to his chest, rocking side to side while his eye twitched. Erik was almost tempted to just back the fuck out of there, but he didn't. Instead, he let the front door slam behind him, finally getting the others to notice him, and he shouted over the top of the screaming infant, "Why the fuck is she still crying?!"

Lucy only stared at Erik for a moment, bottom lip trembling, before the dam burst and the tears were let loose. Erik grimaced. "I don't know!" Lucy wailed, still walking around in circles and trying to soothe her daughter. "I don't know why she's still crying!" If she did know, she'd sure as hell be doing more than just making herself dizzy and singing literally every single nursery rhyme she could remember.

"She's a demon, that's why," Gajeel muttered.

"Our daughter is not a demon!"

"She's a demon," he whispered. He was certain of it.

Erik shook his head at them. They were both idiots. Even bigger idiots than Bickslow, and that was saying something. Still, he was in a somewhat charitable mood for once, and if he had barely slept for two days, then he was certain Lucy and Gajeel had had _zero_ sleep. "Alright, give me the brat." He moved forward and held his arms out for Lucy to give him the child. Her screaming was doing his fucking head in, and he was almost sure his ears would start bleeding if the kid didn't shut up soon, but he was going to do his best to deal with it.

Lucy sniffled, looking between her crying daughter and then back to Erik with his arms outstretched hands motioning for her to give Andra to him. "But… But you don't like her, I know you don't," she pointed out. As far as she knew, Erik had only held Andra a grand total of four times in the last three months – once, after she'd been born, and then three more times when Bickslow had dragged him over there for playtime. But to Lucy, it just made no sense for Erik to even be there right then, much less for him to be wanting to hold the screaming and inconsolable infant that was her daughter.

He rolled his eyes. "I don't like her crying a whole lot more." He could tolerate the kid, just not the screaming. "Now come on, hand her over."

After a moment and a glance to her husband still rocking side to side, his hair tied in a messy bun that was falling out just from all the attempts of Andra pulling at it (he'd tied it up just so she would _stop_ pulling at it), Lucy stopped walking around in circles and then hesitantly shifted Andra to let Erik take her. She honestly didn't have any issues with him holding her. She was just confused.

Erik held Andra out at arm's length and grimaced. Babies made such weird faces when they cried. He wasn't sure why people could find them so adorable. They were like old, wrinkly people in tiny bodies. Sighing, Erik kept her out in front of him as he turned to go take a seat on one of the armchairs behind him. Lucy watched him nervously and curiously, and even Gajeel couldn't help but finally notice Erik sitting off to the side of him.

He set Andra down on his lap, her hands holding her just under her arms to try and keep her from squirming too much. "Alright kid. Talk to me."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "She's only three months old," she said. "She doesn't know how to talk."

"Yes, I know that," Erik replied. He wasn't completely oblivious when it came to the crib lizards. But, even if he knew very well that Andra couldn't physically talk, Erik already knew for a fact that she had a fully functioning brain (well, it was getting there) and soul. Most of what he'd heard from her over the last few months hadn't been all that understandable, but Erik had honestly been surprised by just how quickly the dragon spawn had gone from completely unintelligible to somewhat decipherable. Babies had their own weird language in their own heads, as Erik had learnt. "But last I checked, your _shriekling_ still had a soul, which means right now, I'm closer to figuring out just what's wrong with her than both of you are."

Lucy wasn't even going to argue with the man about him calling her daughter a _shriekling_. She didn't have the energy to argue. That, and it was kind of true. But, she'd never actually considered that Erik would be able to hear Andra's soul. Lucy was curious to know just what Erik could hear, though, because she doubted that whatever Andra's soul was saying was going to be the most comprehensible.

Unfortunately though, even in Lucy's seriously sleep deprived state, Erik couldn't hear shit over the depressing as all hell inner turmoil of Lucy's own soul. Not to mention that Gajeel's soul was just… a fucking mess, right then. Erik didn't even know where to begin with that guy. But if it was one thing Erik had learnt about Andra's soul – other than that it spoke in its own goddamn language – was that it was quiet. She had a lot to say for a little baby, naturally, in her own weird way. But unless Erik really tried to hear her, he normally couldn't.

Glaring at the over-tired mother, he grumbled, "Will you just go and do something else?" Even if he did need Lucy to just go away just so he could hear Andra, he also couldn't focus when he had Lucy staring at him. He couldn't perform under pressure, damn it. "Go to bed or something."

"I can't go to bed!" Lucy said. She sniffled and wiped her cheeks with the backs of her hands. "She's still crying! And she'd still awake!"

Erik rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to do you a favour, Blondie. Now let me watch your spawn, and go take a fucking nap. And take _him_ "—he nodded towards Gajeel—"with you."

He almost couldn't even believe that he was actually offering to babysit the screaming devil, but he'd long since accepted Lucy and Gajeel as part of his family (all thanks to Bickslow, of course), and as much as he needed _his_ sleep, Erik knew that Lucy and Gajeel needed their sleep more than he did. Even if it was just going to be for a few hours, he had a feeling it would do wonders for what was left of their sanity (or perhaps in Gajeel's case, he might actually regain some).

"Are you sure?" Lucy asked. She was hesitant to let anyone watch Andra to be perfectly honest. She'd only even left her with Bickslow for a maximum of half an hour, just so she'd been able to run out and get some groceries without Andra for a change (it was so much faster on her own). But leaving her with Erik just so she could sleep? Lucy wasn't too sure how she felt about that. "That's… That's too much, I—"

"You _can_ ," Erik said before Lucy could say that she _couldn't_. "Now go on, get out of here. Go sleep in our guest room if you have to." It had pretty much only been set up for Lucy's benefit anyway, since as much as Erik could deal with Lucy taking _his_ spot in the bed occasionally, there were times where that just really, _really_ was not going to happen. Mostly when he was, in fact, in town. The only person Erik would ever sleep in the same bed with was his husband. _Not_ husband _plus_ weird, sort of, sister-in-law. It was precisely why he had ended up kicking Lucy out of his bed at one point when she'd been staying when her house had been being painted.

After a moment, Lucy quickly got up from where she sat and rushed over to Erik, quickly ducking down to wrap her arms around his head to hug him, not even caring that she was, in fact, smothering his groan in her chest (Bickslow was no doubt going to laugh his fucking ass off). "You are an _angel_ , Cobra." The Poison slayer rolled his eyes as Lucy kissed the top of his head – he wouldn't call himself an angel even on the _best_ of days. Lucy let go of him to kiss the top of her daughter's head next, only trying her best not to start crying over Andra's own crying again. "Only for a few hours, okay? And… And if you need anything, please just wake me up! I mean it!" she said frantically, reaching down for Gajeel's arms to pull him up from the ground. "And… And there's formula on the bench, so if you think she's hungry, you can just follow the instructions on the side!"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Erik mumbled. "Now go away before I change my mind."

Lucy finally dragged Gajeel away, down to their bedroom, leaving Erik alone with Andra. He could already just make out the unique nonsense that was the ramblings of Andromeda's soul.

The first thing Erik figured out, was that Andra was tired. But that didn't surprise him in the slightest, since he knew for a fact that the demonic child had been awake for the better part of the last three days, only ever shutting up for an hour at a time for naps, he supposed.

The second thing Erik figured out, or he at least guessed, was that Andra was… bored. Or something along those lines. He really wasn't fluent in _baby_. But, if it really was boredom that was bothering the fuck trophy, then Erik could say that he had actually learnt something new. He'd had no idea the ankle-biters could even get bored. Still, if that was the case, Erik now had to figure out how to entertain the three month old parasite.

Thankfully though, he suspected that to be just a minor task. He was married to Bickslow, after all. Erik had plenty of experience with keeping the man entertained. It usually just involved taking him somewhere new because he got sick of the guild and their house sometimes.

So Erik decided to first try taking Andra somewhere else. At best, it would get her to stop crying and maybe calm down enough to sleep. At worst, she would cry even more and possibly wake up the street and he might have one of his moronic neighbours call the cops on him for attempting to abduct a child. Which, really, would just never happen anyway. It was Bickslow who would actually go so far as stealing the child.

Standing, Erik lifted the hellspawn up and brought her into his chest, supporting her mostly in one arm so he could use his free hand to open and close the front door behind him. "Shh, shh… We're gonna go on a little journey, 'kay, kid?" he whispered. "We gotta get you to shut up so everyone can go the fuck back to sleep."

Andra did, unsurprisingly, just continue to cry as Erik carried her outside. He had to refrain from holding her out as far away from himself as possible, she was hurting his ears and his head that much. But she was squirming so much that Erik was scared he'd drop her if he didn't hold her as close to him as he could actually stomach.

There were just a few streetlights on their block, but the full moon and the cloudless sky lit up everything more than enough. Erik bounced Andra gently in his arms as he stepped out into the small garden. "See, look, Andra. We're outside now," he said gently. It was an effort to keep himself calm around the demon and not yell over the top of her crying, but he knew that yelling would just make it worse and probably scare her if anything. "No more boring walls to stare at." He caught a glimpse of the inside of the house from Andra's soul and he scoffed. "I can't believe they actually painted the house that disgusting green, either, kid. Who the hell wants to have walls the colour of fucking khakis?"

Andra stopped crying for a moment to make a sound that almost resembled giggling.

Erik stopped and tilted his head, looking down at the infant curiously. "And what was that for, huh, you nipple nibbler?" She laughed again, and Erik shook his head, mumbling, "You're an odd one, Miss Andromeda. An odd one indeed." How the kid could find his mindless insults and rambling amusing, he wasn't sure. But it was getting her to stop crying so he wasn't complaining.

Unfortunately, he didn't really have much else to insult or ramble about. He seemed to have a feeling that Andra's crying had really just been to do with her somehow going stir crazy (he'd really not expected that to be the case, but it seemed like it was), so Erik was just going to try and focus on that and see if it did anything. He looked up as he wrapped his arm around Andra securely and pointed up with his free hand. "You see those, Andra? They're called stars."

It took Andra a few moments to finally follow Erik's hand and look up. Her own curiosity seemed to be keeping her from crying, and Erik sighed at the silence that finally came.

Tilting her in his arm slightly, trying to make it easier for her to look up, Erik continued to speak softly, "You're named after a few of them, you know that? I mean, technically you're named after a galaxy too, but I'm pretty sure your parents were thinking of the constellation and not so much the galaxy." He admittedly didn't know that much about stars and constellations, but he knew some things. Most of it he'd learnt from Bickslow over the years. Pretty much every job they'd ever taken together had ended with them finding some place far away from the town and any roads to make camp for the night, and just lying on the grass together and looking at the stars, with Bickslow pointing out all the constellations that were visible and just telling him all sorts of random facts – ones he'd learnt for Lucy, of course.

After a little while of standing in the middle of the garden, holding Andra in one arm and craning his head back to look up to the night sky, Erik eventually sat himself down on the cold grass, and continued to tell Andra all about the stars and the constellations while cradling her in his lap instead. It didn't really surprise him in the slightest that she liked looking at them (although whether or not she could actually see them, as bright as they were, Erik honestly wasn't sure). She was part Heartfilia, after all.

At some point though, after Erik had probably exhausted all of his knowledge on stars and constellations, and after he'd gone onto mumbling about how he probably wasn't even going to be able to get back to sleep when he went home (partly from being unfortunately awake, and partly because Bickslow would probably be sprawled diagonally across the mattress again), Andra seemed to fall asleep right in his arms. It was right as the sky was just beginning to lighten with the impending sunrise that Erik looked down and realised it. He couldn't help but sigh in relief.

She was finally asleep, which meant his job was done.

Carefully, he picked himself up from the ground, doing his best to move Andra as little as he possibly could, and then moved back into the house as slowly and silently as possible. Erik stayed by her crib for a few moments after he'd set her down, just to try and make sure that she was actually going to stay sleeping. Confident that she was, he crept out of the room, pulling the door almost closed behind himself, and then turned to go check on Lucy and Gajeel in the next room. They were both fast asleep, tangled up with each other and the blanket, and snoring (at least in Gajeel's case). Erik decided against waking them up to let them know Andra was finally asleep. Instead, after setting the alarm clock on Lucy's nightstand for nine o'clock, he turned and left them peacefully, venturing into the kitchen to find a notepad to scribble a quick note for them to read when they got up.

Finally then, after all was quiet and well in the Redfox house, Erik finally let himself out, locking the door behind himself, and went back to his own home. Bickslow was still fast asleep when he got back, and as Erik had suspected, sprawled across the entire bed. He didn't have the energy to care much though, his tiredness was quickly catching up to him, and after kicking off his shoes, Erik climbed into bed beside his husband as best he could, and closed his other eye.

And within minutes, Erik managed to fall asleep too.

* * *

Erik quickly became Lucy's go-to babysitter for Andra whether he liked it or not (which he didn't). It had been Bickslow beforehand, naturally, but once Erik had managed to get Andra to finally stop crying, he simply became Lucy's favourite. Gajeel didn't really mind much.

Of course though, even with Erik being the new official babysitter (a term that had him cursing and complaining every time it was brought up), Lucy never actually asked him for help after the time Andra had been crying for almost two full days when she was three months old. There hadn't been many instances of insane crying for no reason after that. At least not after Erik had told them to take her out more and let her see something other than that disgusting shade of green they'd somehow decided to paint their house.

But, when Andra was a little over five months, Lucy did, much to Erik's surprise, come knocking on his door in the middle of the morning, begging for him to just watch her for the rest of the day. Gajeel had been late coming back from a job with Pantherlily, and Lucy had been looking forward to finally going out on her own job for _months_. There was just no way she would've let her plans for her day be ruined by the demon hellspawn she'd birthed (not that she didn't love Andra, because she really did. A lot. So much).

And, after grumbling about it, and arguing with Lucy about it, telling her to leave her at the guild with Mira or something, he had caved, and he'd accepted the pest that Lucy ended up setting down on his lounge, along with a bag full of everything Erik would need to take care of her for the day.

Bickslow hadn't been home at the time, so when he got home after his own mission in the middle of the afternoon, just to find his husband walking around the kitchen, putting away the dishes and cleaning up while carrying Andra in a sling, he was just a little confused. And, just a tiny bit turned on. But mostly confused.

He couldn't quite keep the grin off his face as he slowly entered the kitchen. Erik glanced over to him as he set a stack of plates in a cabinet. "You're home early," he mumbled.

"A little…" Bickslow said. He nodded towards the content baby sitting comfortably in the fabric sling. "You, uh… You good there? Did I miss something?"

"What? Oh." Erik looked down to Andra for a moment, booped her nose, and then shrugged. "Yeah, I'm good. Lucy just wanted someone to watch her for the day so she could take a job," he said.

He hadn't really had anywhere safe to put her when he wasn't able to watch her, so he'd pulled the sling out of the bag and just gone with that. After figuring out how to tie the sling up and get it on, and then get Andra in it, he'd almost forgotten about Andra even being there. At one point, she'd even fallen asleep in it when Erik had decided to start reading on the lounge just before lunch. And, as Erik had already learnt, Andra just liked to see things. She'd quite liked being walked around the house while Erik had been tidying up. The only time she'd cried was when she'd been getting hungry, and then needed to be changed – which, really, Erik had _not_ signed up for. Other than that though, she'd been almost perfectly quiet, only laughing occasionally whenever Erik looked down and actually acknowledged her again.

She really just grew odder by the day. And more tolerable, too, but he wasn't going to admit that to anyone.

Bickslow just stared in stunned silence for a moment. Every other time he'd seen Erik with Andra, he'd been grumpy and making points of declaring just how little he liked the hell spawn. Had he entered some alternate reality where his husband could actually stomach being around small children? If so, Bickslow wanted to fucking stay there. That was _heaven_ for him.

But, well, he was there now, so Bickslow suspected that Erik would be all too glad to pass the babysitting duties off to someone else for the rest of the day. He stepped forward, dropping his visor onto the bench and held his arms out. "Well, I can watch her now—"

Erik slapped his hands away. "No."

Bickslow blinked. "Huh?"

"No," Erik said again. He turned away just to make a point of keeping Andra from his husband's reach. "I'm watching her. She's mine."

"Well, technically she's Lucy's and Gajeel's, but—"

" _Mine_ ," Erik repeated. Of course, she really was his neighbours' child, which was seriously more than fine. But until Lucy came back to collect her, Andra was his. Lucy had asked him to look after her, and so Erik was going to look after the damn kid. If Bickslow behaved, he might even let the man hug his niece for a little while. But right now, no hugs for the Seith mage. Erik got all the hugs.

And Bickslow was just more than confused by that point, but he was still finding it difficult to keep a straight face. His husband protectively hugging Andra? Oh yes, Bickslow definitely loved that. As much as he loved looking after Andra though, and stealing all of the cuddles from her, Bickslow really wasn't going to ruin the little thing going on between Erik and her right then. If Erik was set on watching her, then sobeit.

He took a few steps back, holding his hands up in mock surrender and shrugging. "Okay, I got it, she's yours," Bickslow said. "Let me know if you want me to take you off her hands though…"

Erik nodded. _Good_. He looked back down to Andra as he readjusted the sling again, just to see that she was still, in fact, smiling like the mini-dork that she was, and had been all afternoon. What she was smiling at, he wasn't quite sure, but he'd take it.

The kitchen was now tidy though, so it was time to go retreat somewhere else. Lucy had told him to let her play on the floor for a little bit with some of the toys she'd packed, so Erik figured it was time to do that. He noticed Bickslow watching him all too annoyingly though, probably just waiting for his turn with Andra, and Erik huffed, wrapping his arms back around Andra in the sling.

"She says you look weird, by the way," he grumbled.

Bickslow raised an eyebrow at his husband, an amused smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Oh, does she now?"

Well, technically, Andra had meant _funny_ , at least as far as Erik could tell. But they were close enough anyway. "Yes, she does," Erik answered. "And I agree."

Bickslow could only roll his eyes as he watched Erik take off into the living room.

* * *

 **A/Ns:** _So. First off, I want to address the announcement I put out earlier today. I know there's been a few issues with the actual link. I suspect that's because I posted it from the app, not the actual site. If you haven't seen it, then, long story short, I'm going to be temporarily removing Beneath the Water's Surface and Of Shady Knights and Stupid Princesses. They will return at some point in the future after I've got a few more chapters written/come close to finishing them. They haven't been updated for a year, so taking them down seemed like the best idea to me._

 _Secondly... **Fairy Tail Fan Fiction**. It's a page on Facebook. There's been a lot about this page coming up lately, and I wanted to talk about it for a moment just for the sake of clarity. I know GemNika posted something about it on Tumblr, but I still want to say something from my standpoint. _

_I have, personally, asked not to have my updates posted there. At least for the most part. (It's... being sorted out.) Not because I don't appreciate the free promotion that the site offers. But, because I prefer to have control over when/where my stories are being shared - not the stories themselves, but the links. (Also, the stories as well, I guess, but that's irrelevant here.) It's a preference thing, and I explained that to the owner of the page. Also, the fact that no one actually bothered to inform me that it was being done was part of why I did ask to have my updates not posted (but again, it's a preference thing)._

 _They are **not** stealing anything. I know that. Anyone who does believe that... Well, you're actually being ridiculous. What they do, is post the links to stories, whether it be new ones, updated chapters, or just one-shots. They are promoting, that's all. I can still appreciate that even if I personally do not want links to my stories posted there (although now that I AM aware of it, I'm not so bothered by it. Please don't assume that I was okay with it from the beginning though). _

_Anyway. I just wanted to throw that in there. While I may not particularly like it at the moment, I can still appreciate and respect that the page is technically doing nothing wrong. They're not taking credit for anything. They're just giving people more readers (well, that's the aim)._

 _p.s. If anyone still thinks I hate the page (which again, I don't!), this chapter was technically written for that page's owner, because they mentioned it to me, so... Do with that what you will._


	8. Babies (BixCo Week 2017 Repost)

This is a repost of one of my prompts for BixCo Week back in October. I wasn't sure if I'd post it again here, but I decided it was probably for the best. That, and I think it will tie in nicely to the next chapter I have planned... Hehehe.

Anyway, if you read this one in BixCo Week, of course you can just ignore it. Although, you know me, I always love when people read my work and leave feedback, because, well... Who doesn't? But if you didn't see this in BixCo Week, well, enjoy!

* * *

 **Babies**

* * *

Cobra didn't like small children. He found them annoying, and in most cases, they are all spoilt brats – although that wasn't entirely their fault, and it was mostly just because they had parents who were too weak to say no once in a while. But in general, Erik didn't like children.

The only child that Erik could tolerate was Andra, but with the Redfox-Heartfilia child, it wasn't like he had much of a choice. She was his damn niece and god-daughter, for fuck's sake. Even then, Andromeda was kind of adorable, especially when she wasn't crying.

What Erik _hated_ , however… Were the babies. Those little flying fuckers that followed Bickslow around everywhere. Those things drove him insane. Even having lived with the man for close to four years, Erik still wanted to murder the tiny demons. Occasionally, he wanted to murder their master, too, but it was mostly just the babies he wanted to destroy.

It was at times like those though, where Lucy was off with Gajeel on a job for two days so (it would be the longest Lucy had been away from her daughter), and Bickslow had caught the flu from Laxus so he was stuck looking after Andra by himself, that Erik just really, _really_ just wanted to kill the flying pests. As much as he tolerated looking after Andra every now and then (well, sort of), he hadn't signed up for two fucking days of it. No, that had been Bickslow's doing. But then he'd gotten sick, and Erik had been stuck babysitting the hellspawn. It would've been tolerable had Bickslow been _well_ , though, because when he was sick, he was an annoying brat.

And sure, he got the whole 'in sickness and in health' part of their vows, but until Bickslow, Erik had never seen someone so irritating when all they had was a glorified cold. He whined constantly. He whined more than Andra did when she wanted a bottle.

Still, having to look after his husband, a ten-month-old who was frankly just boring, and the annoying little pests that Bickslow called his babies, really just pissed Erik off. He would've disappeared for a few days to let Bickslow deal with the germs by himself had Andra not been there. But, well… _Someone_ had to look after the sproglodyte.

Much to his disgust, Erik woke up bright and early the first morning to Andra crying. Thankfully, she slept through the night, but with Bickslow snoring it wasn't like Erik had slept much anyway. At one point he'd been glaring at his husband in the dark and just about ready to smother him with a pillow. It was a good thing he loved the guy, otherwise suffocating him in his sleep would've been more than just a little tempting.

He lifted Andra from the crib just by the door and grimaced. Of course she needed to be changed, too, and no matter how many times Erik had done it, it still made him want to vomit. Babies were foul creatures – so foul sometimes that he liked to pretend that he'd never actually been one himself at one stage (although he was always reminded that clearly his parents had thought _he_ was a foul little creature since they'd abandoned him before he could even remember).

"Why the fuck would Lucy willingly want to do this?" Erik only held Andra out as far away as he could while he searched for the rest of the crap Lucy and Gajeel had dropped off the afternoon before. "There is nothing appealing in wiping someone's ass when they've shit themselves. Your mother is a damn moron, kid."

The spawn still wasn't really at the stage where she understood anything, so of course, she only giggled and Erik had to fight hard not to throw up on the little demon – he'd gotten _it_ on his hand.

His morning was not going so well.

And when Bickslow managed to drag his sorry ass out of bed, Erik's morning just got a whole lot worse. Andra was being fussy and wasn't eating her mashed banana, so he was already having a hard enough time dealing with that, and if Bickslow was up, then the babies would be up too and Erik really, _really_ wasn't in the mood for their antics that morning.

"Keep your germs away from me," Erik snarled, glancing to the Seith mage as he trudged into the kitchen.

Bickslow groaned. "Come on, I'm not that sick." His voice was hoarse and his throat was raw from how much he'd been coughing all night – well, when he hadn't been snoring his head off, at least. "I'm fine. It's just a cold."

"Cold, cold!" the babies echoed.

"I don't care." Erik tried feeding Andromeda another spoonful of the bananas, only to have her turn her face away and pout. "Go be sick somewhere else. If you get me sick, I'll poison you. And if you get Andra sick, then you know Lucy and Gajeel will murder you."

It sent a chill down Bickslow's spine. Although he couldn't quite tell if that was his fever coming back on or the threat of his neighbours murdering him. "Fine… I'll go back to bed…" he ceded. "But can you at least bring me in something to eat when you're done feeding Andra?"

"What did your last slave die of?"

"Probably the flu."

Erik snorted. "I'm not bringing you food." He tried giving Andra some more of the bananas, only to have her refuse them once again and he finally gave up with a frustrated sigh. "You can get your own. I'm too busy looking after the lizard."

"She's not a lizard, Erik," Bickslow sighed. Although really, _lizard_ was probably one of the nicer names his husband had given her. "But _please_? I'll keep my germs away if you just bring me food—"

"Okay, Jesus fucking Christ!" Erik rolled his eyes as he caved. "I'll bring you some damn food. Just go away already." He tried not to pay attention to Bickslow's internal gloating as he returned to the warm confines of their bed, and instead just quickly cleaned up the unwanted bananas and went about finding something else to give Andra for breakfast.

* * *

Erik had just collapsed down onto the lounge after getting Andra down for her morning nap when the babies came flying in one by one and started nudging him. He groaned, reaching out to swat the tikis away. "What the fuck do you fuckers want now?"

"Bored, bored!" they all cheered dismally. "Bix sleeping."

Contrary to what Erik had once thought when he'd first met the Seith mage, his babies never actually 'slept'. They had moments of stillness and silence occasionally, usually at night because that was what Bickslow told them to do, but for the most part, they needed constant attention. And when Bickslow was asleep in the middle of the day, then they had no one to give them attention. From what Erik could tell, his husband was almost always talking to them in his head just because that was how he kept them from misbehaving. For the most part, Erik had no idea what he talked about – he'd never actually been good at reading his husband's soul. He'd never cared much though.

Still, after Erik had finally gone and given Bickslow something to eat after he'd gotten Andra sorted, the man had been in and out of sleep all morning. Erik didn't blame him, nor did he really care. But he cared about the babies being annoying little shits, because he hated having to the deal with them.

"So? Go sleep then," Erik groaned. "Or whatever the fuck it is you lot do at night. I'm not your master."

"Step-master!"

"That…" He shook his head and let out a sigh. He wasn't going to indulge them with that train of thought. He barely even knew what it was supposed to mean. Rubbing his temple, Erik picked himself up from the lounge as the pests continued to circle him and nudge his side as well as his head. He fought to keep his temper under wraps as he ground out, "What the fuck do you expect me to do anyway? I can't talk to you like Bix does." Well, he probably could if he tried, but he didn't want to try.

"Play with us!" the babies chanted, their little voices doing that creepy droning thing that Erik still hated sometimes.

"Play with you? How?"

They swirled around him again for a moment, before suddenly, they all zoomed out the open window just behind the lounge and out into the front garden. He definitely wasn't in the mood to play with the babies as it was, but he'd resigned to doing that just because he knew it was the only way he'd get them to leave him the fuck alone. Now he seemingly had to fucking chase them, and… Erik didn't run. Ever.

He'd chased Bickslow through town once because of some dick-move prank (or accident, Bickslow claimed) he'd pulled on him, but that was different. The guy had needed to be fucking poisoned for pulling that shit on him. Granted, it had ended with the Seith mage falling off a pier and almost drowning, but that still wasn't the point.

Erik wasn't going to chase the babies. They could go live in the wild and grow big and scary for all he cared. Bickslow could get new ones, couldn't he? Honestly, Erik didn't know that much about how Bickslow had come to collect his souls. It was probably the one thing he didn't talk about at all. Although from his secrecy about it alone, Erik knew that it probably involved something Bickslow wasn't at all proud of.

Still, Erik just didn't care. He didn't care about what the babies were up to. He just wanted to lay back down on the lounge, close his eyes ( _er_ , eye) and get a quick nap in while it was quiet. So he did just that, making himself comfortable with his head on a small cushion.

All was well for just a few minutes. That was when he felt something cold and damp fall onto the side of his face, something sand-like, and the smell of _earth_ became a little overwhelming. Erik almost didn't want to open his eye and see what mischief the babies had gotten into – because really, it had to be them. But he did it anyway, slowly, and peered up to the five dolls hovering above him, each of them with mounds of dirt sitting on the tops of them and in the carved crevices.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." Dirt fell into his mouth as he spoke and Erik quickly spit it back out, scraping it off his tongue and trying to get the awful taste completely out of his mouth as he sat up.

"Cleaning time! Cleaning time!" the babies said. Erik refrained from setting them on fire.

Gritting his teeth, Erik only got up from the lounge and went in search for his husband's cleaning kit for the totems.

* * *

Bickslow struggled to pull himself out of bed later in the day. Every muscle and joint in his body was aching, and by the time he'd managed to just sit up on the edge of the mattress, all he wanted to do was collapse back down and be horizontal again. He didn't have the energy to do anything at all, but… He was thirsty, and he needed another box of tissues. He would've just gotten the babies to go and ask Erik for them, but for the life of him, Bickslow didn't know where the babies were.

At that moment, he had absolutely no idea where they were or what they were doing. It was a rare occurrence for them to have no presence, and a slight bit of panic ran through him as he made it out of the bedroom and trudged out into the hall.

"Cobra?" Bickslow called out, his voice still hoarse and speaking strained him. "Where are you?"

"Living room," Erik replied gruffly.

He made it to the room at the front of the house, and Bickslow couldn't keep the grin off his face. Andromeda was standing in front of the bookcase, pulling down books and movies and dropping them all in piles behind her. The coffee table was covered in her favourite stuffed animals and toys from home. And Erik was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, arms folded and a scowl on his face, while Poppo sat nestled on top of his head and the rest were sitting somewhere on Erik's shoulders and lap.

Bickslow was convinced he'd just walked into his husband's worst nightmare, but it was hilarious all the same.

"Having fun there?" Bickslow snickered.

"I've never had so much fun in my whole life."

Bickslow coughed – laughing wasn't a good idea it seemed. "Aw, are the babies picking on you?" he teased instead.

"Andra's a fucking monster," Erik snapped. "She's the devil incarnate."

"Oh, come on. She's not that bad."

"She is. She knocked all her food onto the floor when I turned around for three seconds, and then she wouldn't stop throwing those stupid biscuits at my face. And now she's apparently _redecorating_."

Bickslow had come to learn just how troublesome his niece had grown to be over the last few months. He found it hilarious, though. Even more hilarious was the fact that his husband was the one who was having to deal with it all. If Bickslow hadn't been sick, then he'd definitely be helping him, because that was what the original arrangement had been, despite Lucy having made it clear months earlier that Erik was her new favourite babysitter (not that he was useful those days anyway, since his baby-whispering abilities seemed to have been failing). But still, he _was_ sick, so he wasn't going to go near Andra. That just meant Erik had to deal with her tantrums and apparently inner interior-designer emerging.

Their lounge room had needed to be cleaned up anyway.

"Well… At least she's not trying to eat the corner of the table like she used to…" Bickslow shrugged. Silver linings.

"No, but she was trying to eat your babies. And then she got mad at them and hit them against each other."

Bickslow grimaced. His babies weren't too fond of Andra and her wanting to eat everything that wasn't edible all the time… He didn't blame them, either. But it explained why Erik was now guarding them. Or something like that.

Erik glanced back to Andra when she dropped another book behind her before moving onto the next shelf and reaching for another book. He let out a sigh and shook his head. He didn't have the energy to deal with her. And if he did, she just threw a tantrum. He didn't like her when she was being a brat. "What are you doing out here anyway?" Erik asked Bickslow. "I thought you were sleeping."

"I was," he admitted. "But I wanted something to eat, and I needed to get another box of tissues because I emptied the other one. Speaking of, do we have another one?"

"Nope."

"Oh…"

Erik narrowed his eye slightly at his husband. "…You want me to go and buy you some damn tissues, don't you?"

He nodded. "Please?" he pleaded. Bickslow knew Erik didn't want to go out, but… He really needed more tissues. His head was just full of all kinds of crap and his nose was either permanently blocked or running like a tap. Either way, it was annoying and disgusting. The small bin he'd put next to him was overflowing with used tissues from the morning alone, but Bickslow just didn't have the energy to clean it up. "I mean, unless you want me sniffling every three seconds…"

Of course, Bickslow had a fair point. But he also just really didn't want to go out just to buy tissues. "Go use toilet paper or something."

"Come on, we need more tissues anyway. Please, Cobe?"

He only continued to glower at the Seith mage for a moment before he caved and began picking himself up from the ground, shooing the babies away and off him. "Fine," he snarled. He was weak when it came to Bickslow's stupid face.

Still, Erik just couldn't wait for the next two days to be over. Lucy and Gajeel would be back so they could take their spawn back home, and Bickslow would be well enough to actually look after himself again. Erik was already sick of running around after the both of them, catering to their every need. The babies just being annoying pests really hadn't helped.

So after getting out of his pyjamas and into some proper clothes to go out, and after getting Andra settled in her sling (the one time she was always quiet), Erik was heading to the front door to go and get his husband his precious tissues. But then from down the hall Bickslow was quickly calling out, "And some lemon tea too, please!"

Erik's eye twitched as he held back the urge to tell Bickslow where he could stick that lemon tea.

* * *

Erik was all too happy once Lucy and Gajeel returned, tired and in desperate need of cuddles from their infant daughter. It had been later than they'd originally said, but Bickslow had been better that day so at the very least, Erik hadn't needed to look after _him_ as well as his babies. He could handle Andra when it was just her.

Even if Bickslow had been feeling better that day, he'd still gone to bed early. By the time Lucy and Gajeel had been heading back to their own home with Andra and all of her things, Bickslow had just been saying goodnight and heading straight for the warm confines of Sleep Town. And as soon as Erik had closed and locked the door behind his neighbours, he'd gone straight down to hall to join his husband.

He collapsed face-down onto the bed, leaving his feet hanging off the side and his face pressed into his pillow. Bickslow chuckled quietly to himself at Erik's tired groan. "You right there?"

"I'm so fucking tired," Erik mumbled.

He'd barely slept the night before. Bickslow had been up all night coughing and just tossing and turning all the damn time again. And then by the time Erik had been able to fall asleep himself, the sun had been coming up, and Andra woke up not long after that. Coffee had been his friend that day.

Still, after looking after an infant for two full days, Erik just wanted to sleep.

"Early night then?" Bickslow suggested.

"Definitely." He just needed to find the energy to get up and go take a shower first. And with great effort, after resting for just another moment, Erik finally went about pushing himself out of bed. "I don't know how those two do it," he mumbled. "Take care of that demon all day and then still have the energy to go out and do things." He really didn't get it. He was exhausted after two days. How Lucy and Gajeel had managed to do that for almost every hour of almost every single day for the last ten odd months was beyond Erik right then.

Bickslow shrugged. He knew Lucy was tired all the time, but he also knew that she thought it was worth it. "With great effort, I imagine. But they keep doing it because they love being parents."

"Clearly. But god, it's just so fucking tiring." Erik stretched his arms over his head before he finally got up from the bed. "Why would you even want to have to deal with all that work?"

"Is that an actual question?"

"Sure. Enlighten me."

Bickslow turned on the mattress to look back up to the ceiling. They'd never really talked about why he wanted kids so much. Even if Erik had always known that was what Bickslow wanted, he'd never actually asked _why_ until then. And for the most part, Bickslow had never really thought about it either. He didn't really have a solid reason for wanting them, not as far as he knew. And given how obvious that his husband had made it over the years that he didn't want children, Bickslow had mostly stopped thinking about it at all. He'd seen no point in it.

But, Erik seemed to be asking the reason then, which meant Bickslow had to come up with some kind of answer. "I guess it's just because I like them," he murmured. "Don't really give a shit about having someone take care of me when I'm old and all. Couldn't care less about passing on bloodlines and crap either."

"So you want to be exhausted all the time just for the sake of it?"

Bickslow shrugged again. "I guess so." There wasn't really anything special about it. He just wanted to be a dad and be able to point to his kid who was doing amazing things and say, _'I did that.'_

Erik still didn't really get it. He didn't think he ever would see the appeal in having his own kid or being totally responsible for another human life. Still though, once about a time he'd thought all children were horrible little monsters. Those days… not so much.

He liked Andra when she was quiet. Some babies were nice babies.

Then again, Erik knew with certainty that any baby he raised would actually be the devil incarnate.


End file.
